Why So Serious?
by kyu15
Summary: I'm sure you've all read stories with a dark naruto but what about an insane naruto? Inspired by Danasca's "Laughter of the Broken", follow naruto on his insane journey to become strong, and to have a little fun with the village he calls home.Sumary sucks
1. Origins

A.N.: Alright, well this is my first attempt at a fanfic so don't be too harsh :P. Criticism is all good and well but seriously, please no flaming. Also, this first chap is mainly about the back-story so sorry for people wanting immediate action.

First, Danzo may or may not have a slightly larger than normal roll in the story. Haven't decided yet but I'll leave it up to you guys. But either way, he won't be like most fanfics portray him to be. He'll be slightly misguided in his actions but have good intentions.

Second, I'm not entirely sure if I will be doing any pairings in this at all but again,I'm undecided. The girls that I'm willing to put in here are

Ayame (for obvious reasons)

Anko M (again, for obvious reasons)

Mei T (I know, kinda random, but I like this pairing)

Shizune (again, random I know but with how I want naruto to be, she could balance him out)

Those are the only girls that I'd be willing to put in the pairing right now. So unless you can provide a DAMN good argument for any others, don't bother saying you want someone else. Oh, and no harem...yet =3

Third, the gennin in this fic will all be in their mid-teens. Not be prepubescent 12 year-olds that are beating the crap out of each other and older more experienced shinobi. Naruto will probably be around 16 since he failed the graduation exam 3 times. Everyone in Naruto's class will be around 15, with everybody else's age based off that.

(AN: sorry for the long opening author's note guys -_-' he...he)

I got the idea for this story from "laughter of the broken" by Danasca and decided to try to write my own. Enjoy the first of the hopefully many chapters of "Why So Serious?"

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summon Speaking"**

"_**Demon/Summon Thinking"**_

**Scene & Time**

– _**Time Skip – **_

( author's notes)

**DISCLAIMER!DISCLAIMER!:** I DO NOT own Naruto or anything referenced to in this fic besides any OC's that might be added in. If I did own them do you honestly think I'd be writing this?

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**X Konoha X**

Every year on October 10, Konoha would hold a celebration lasting an entire week that was dedicated to the defeat of the Kyuubi no Yoko and the death of the Yondaime Hokage. It was on this date 5 years ago that the Kyuubi had attacked the village without warning and would have destroyed it had the fourth not stepped in. But unfortunately, he could do little to nothing to actually HARM the beast.

That only left one option. He had to seal it away.

There was only one seal that he knew could hold the beast but the sacrifice would be great. Knowing that he had no choice, he used his own son as the container for the great demon and sacrificed himself to seal it in him.

His dying wish to the newly reinstated Sandaime, Hiruzen Sarutobi, was for Naruto to be recognized as the hero that he was and not how all other jinchuuriki were treated. He knew that it was a fool's hope but he couldn't help but hope against hope that the villagers would accept his wish.

His initial thoughts had been correct though. Upon the Sandaime's revealing that the child had the Kyuubi sealed in him, the civilian council wished to put the boy to death. It had taken the entire shinobi half of the council and Danzo, surprisingly, to hold back the old man from killing the civilians.

Despite many days of trying uselessly to get them to see otherwise, about 90 percent of the civilians refused to see past the Kyuubi when having anything to do with the child. Most of the shinobi were like that as well. Dismayed at this, the Sandaime made a law stating that anybody who mentioned anything about the Kyuubi being connected with Naruto to the younger generation would be punished with instant execution.

Despite this, many of the bolder, and rather less intelligent, civilians along with a few chuunin immediately began protesting by saying things about how the 'Demon' must have influenced the Sandaime for him to have thought of such a law.

Their objections were quickly and violently silenced by ANBU appearing in front of said people before quickly ending their lives with precise slashes made from their kunai.

Finally getting the picture, the crowd dispersed. Of course, just because they couldn't say anything doesn't mean they couldn't get around the inconvenience.

As he grew up, Naruto had been shunned and hated by the villagers. They charged him ridiculous prices for even the items in worst condition. He usually had to resort to foraging for food in dumpsters and other unpleasant places.

They told their children not to play with him, saying that he was a demon in disguise and that he would kill them. Children, being children, had believed their parents without a second thought and had refused to even acknowledge the blonde.

Growing up alone, in a hostile environment, and having to literally go through hell and back just to survive, it wasn't the least bit surprising that the young child's sanity was slowly slipping away. No one knew this ofcourse, courtesy of the smiling face he put on all the time.

But this year, during the festival on Naruto's birthday things would be a little different. This year, he just might not be able to hold onto his deteriorating sanity. This year, he really might just snap and let his fragile grip on reality slip. Showing the world the true thoughts in his young messed up mind. This year, is where our story begins...


	2. Origins pt 2

Alright well since I still haven't quite got the hang of how some of the stuff works for making updates to the chapters works, I'm just gonna go ahead and post the second chap of "Why So Serious?" Also, I'm in the process of finding a beta for this thing so if anybody's interested in controlling this story to a slight degree, PM me or something. Oh, and I will do my best to make the chapters longer. Please read AND review peoples:P

And here... we... GO

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**STORY-WIDE DISCAIMER!:** I don't own Naruto or anything referenced in this fic besides any possible OC's.

**X Konoha X**

It was a cool and calm night in Konoha and the yearly Kyuubi festival was in full swing on its third night. The date is October 10, the day of the most celebrating and the hardest day of the year for one small boy.

Naruto Uzumaki the "demon" boy was running from yet another large mob during their yearly "fox hunt" to corner him and beat him into unconsciousness. The mob was a little larger than normal, but the 6 year old Naruto was sure he could outrun them like he had all the rest. The only thing he wished was that it wasn't on his birthday that they decided to hunt him.

Running through narrow alleys, he was too preoccupied with dodging the objects thrown at him by the shinobi in the crowd to pay attention where he was going. As he ran around a sharp turn, he realized with dread that he had accidentally run down a dead end.

Realizing the danger he was in, he quickly tried to run back the way he came but as he neared the corner, the ninja in the mob had caught up to him. One of them, who looked to be a chuunin began slowly walking closer to Naruto, "What's wrong demon? Can't find your fox hole?" he mocked with open malice. Eyes widening in fear, Naruto began to back away from the chuunin, failing to notice that another ninja dressed in a standard jounin's uniform had managed to sneak behind him.

As he got into the jounin's reach, he was quickly grabbed and lifted off the ground. The man laughed at Naruto's desperate attempts to get free, "Aw. I think you're scaring the little monster Ayo". The newly named Ayo let a dark grin stretch onto his face as he noticed the civilian part of the mob catch up.

Upon seeing this Naruto redoubled his efforts to escape from his captor but was only rewarded with the man tightening his grip on Naruto's arms, resulting in what felt like his arm dislocating. Gritting his teeth he tried to reason with the slowly approaching mob, "Please! Let me go, I swear I'll behave, honest! I'll be a good boy and stay in my home! Just please let me go!". Hearing this, the mob stopped their progress forward for a moment. Naruto felt his hope rise up as he saw this, but it was quickly smashed when he heard their laughter.

He had heard that kind of laughter every other time they caught him. That laughter meant pain.

Ayo slowly began to walk closer to the boy as he pulled something out of his pouch on his belt. When he reached Naruto, he raised his hand showing that it held a rusty training kunai. The kind that had dulled edges for safety. Looking into Naruto's terror filled eyes with glee he gave a look of curiosity. "Why so serious...Kyuubi? Every time I've seen you skulking along the streets you've been the definition of a clown".

Naruto's eyes had widened upon hearing this. Kyuubi? What gave this guy the crazy idea that HE was the fox who had been killed 6 years ago?

Seeing his eyes widen, Ayo began laughing gleefully "Oh I get it! You're a sad clown, is that it?" he turned to the crowd gathered behind him " But he's missing his tears! What do you say I give him some permanent ones?". The crowd cheered at this letting him know that they thought it was a great idea.

Chuckling sinisterly, Ayo turned back to Naruto and began his carving.

It was a slow-going process, especially since he was using a dull training kunai that was dulled even more due to rust. It was the equivalent of using a butter knife to cut down a tree. To Naruto, it was even worse.

The chuunin was taking his time making sure that every bit of pain could be felt by the child. Naruto's screams were met by laughter from the crowd. On the outside it just looked like he was hurting but on the inside, every scrape from the kunai was a scrape against his already nonexistent sanity.

Upon finally finishing his carving Ayo grabbed Naruto's face, ignoring his cry of pain, and turned it side to side roughly. Seeming satisfied with his work he once more turned to the crowd, "Alright, have at him people".

Taking him up on his offer, the mob swarmed towards the once again terrified blond. He tried to get out of his captor's grip again, but in his pain weakened state he managed even less than he had before. Getting tired with his captive's struggles he threw naruto into oncoming crowd and promptly began walking to his home.

"I've got him!" yelled one villager with a pitchfork. He extended the object in an attempt to impale Naruto on it, but only managed to cut through the boy's side. As he landed on the ground, they swarmed him

"Die demon!"

"You killed my mother!"

"We'll finish what the Yondaime started!"

These cries and many more reached the boy as he curled into a ball to take the beating.

_'Why? Why is it always me who they blame? Why?' _he thought. Upon noticing that their blows had stopped, he began to wonder if the villagers were done with their torture for today.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt himself being lifted up by his arms and a sharp pain begin in his stomach. He lifted his lowered head and saw the man with the pitchfork, stabbing him through his stomach and into the alley wall with said pitchfork with a victorious smirk on his face. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a silver blur run from the scene. _'That Bastard! He was watching this the entire time and he didn't help me!'_ the blond thought angrily.

He felt another sharp pain in his gut and looked down and saw something that would have made him throw up if he could.

The villager had begun twisting his pitchfork, making the skin around it tear letting his intestines begin to fall out. All of this along with the laughter of the mob proved too much for the blonde.

His world begun to darken and he realized with a start that he was probably dying. Strangely, he wasn't sad. No, he was happy! Happy that he no longer had to live with the stares, the angry whispers at the edges of his hearing, the hate-filled words that the villagers spoke to him. He was glad that atleast in death he would have peace.

As the darkness was about to consume him he heard the villager impaling him whisper something.

Something that had changed his life.

"Why so serious kid?" he had asked with a sadistic chuckle.

This sentence is what completely snapped the young boy's mind. An almost audible SNAP could be heard when it happened. He immediately grew still and stopped his screaming when this happened.

Seeing that he had stopped screaming and struggling the mob began to cheer, thinking that the brat was dead. However that train of thought was brought to a screeching halt when they heard the last thing they would have thought to hear from the supposed "dead" blond in front of them.

He was laughing.

But that itself wasn't what had them filled with dread. It was the SOUND of the laugh. It wasn't a happy laugh. It wasn't even a sad laugh. It was the laughter of a man who had lost all sanity.

Naruto slowly raised his head to the disturbed mob. At first his eyes were closed, but when they opened the villagers saw what they had done.

The boys of this 6 year old CHILD were frantic and unfocused. Seeing no one and everyone. Those eyes were full of pain, and sorrow, and a large amount of pure undiluted madness.

Laughing the entire time Naruto put his hands on the pitchfork, ignoring the cuts formed on his hands from it. He slowly began to wriggle it out of him, ignoring the disgusting sounds and shaking of the pole caused by his laughter.

Letting himself fall to the ground after getting it out, he picked up what parts of his spleen were hanging out and put them back into place as the wound began to close a frightening pace.

Looking once more ate the stupefied villagers, he leaned down to pick up the rusty kunai that Ayo had dropped. "What's wrong? I thought you all were having fun" he mocked "Don't tell me I've gone and ruined the fun!". He only laughed harder at their expressions, tears forming in the corners of his eyes from it.

Unable to get over their shock, the mob just stood there while the boy slowly walked closer.

Upon reaching his destination, the blond leaned up to get into the pitchfork man's face, "Hey" he whispered. Wide-eyed, the villager only managed to meet they crazed gaze of the youth before he began shaking uncontrollably. "Why so serious?" asked Naruto with a crazed glint before he roughly tore the pitchfork from the man's grasp.

Surprised by his strength, the man had no time to react as the blond skewered him with his own pitchfork with Naruto laughing maniacally the entire time . Seeing him so brutally murdered with no sign of mercy from the boy must have snapped the civilians out of their shock as they began screaming and running back out they alley from where they came.

Only to be blocked by a wall of red chakra. "Don't tell me you guys are leaving." the blond giggled with a twisted smirk. "The fun has. Only.. JUST... started" Screams and crazed laughter filled the night air as the rest of the populace celebrated, unaware of the darker deeds being done in the dark alleys.

_**5 hours later –**_

The sight that had greeted the hokage and his ANBU had been extremely disturbing to say the least.

As they approached the alley, the group had seen blood splattering the walls all along the outside of the alley. Almost as if something had exploded. Inside it was even worse. Blood had gotten all the way to the top of the second FLOOR for Kami's sake!

One ANBU had even seen what looked to be like torn off faces impaled on to the wall with stray bits of trash in a giant smiley face.

Ignoring the disturbing constructions of mutilated body parts and piles of gore everywhere, they began to search the alley for clues. The biggest clue was laying down in the largest pile of blood in the alley, and THAT was saying something considering that the entire alley was filled with the stuff.

Young Naruto lay atop of what was probably the most mutilated corpse that many had ever seen, barely being recognizable as human, with the sound of snores coming from him.

The child was sucking the thumb of a severed arm in his grip with a child-like grin of contentment on his face, oddly out of place in the current environment.

Reaching down Sarutobi started to gently shake the child "Naruto-kun! Naruto-kun! Can you hear me?"

His answer was a disturbed giggle emanating from the blond haired boy. "Naruto?"

When he opened his eyes, Sarutobi was both shocked and filled with despair at what he saw in them.

He had seen those eyes before during the third war when his comrades had gone mad. He knew now that the smiling, happy boy was gone. Probably forever. Pushing those thoughts aside, Sarutobi asked with dread "Naruto-kun, are you alright?"

This time it wasn't giggling that met his ears, it was full blown laughter with the Naruto clutching his sides in apparent mirth. But there was no humor in it. " Hey jiji?" the boy laughed clutching his sides. Upon noticing that he had the old man's attention, he said something that made Sarutobi shiver with how wrong it sounded coming from a mere child's mouth.

"Why so serious?"

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And there you have it folks. second chapter of Why So Serious. On a side note, I know it's really close to Danasca's fic for this but really, there isn't exactly alot of ways to get Naruto like this unless something close to this happens :/ still, sorry for how similar they are. REMEMBER TO REVIEW! It's a big help

Till next time guys!


	3. Naruto's flashback and meeting the team

Yeah... sorry about that last update guys -_-'. I don't usually bitch like that but I just wanted some input since I don't have any kind of input from anybody on this story besides the reviews so I don't really know what anybody thinks of it. Also, writing a funny insane naruto is harder than I thought. So I accidentally made him closer to a sociopath/psychopathic serial-killer in this chap, kinda like the heath ledger's rendition of the joker. I think that's what I'm gonna be kinda aiming for now. Let me know what you guys think of that.

So the votes for the pairings so far are:

Anko: 1

Ayame: 3

Mei: 1

Shizune: 1

Be sure to cast your vote in your review before it's too late! ^_^ I'd hate to send Itachi after you with my author's powers /_\

X- Death-x: Yeah, I regret wasting the space now but eh. And I want this story to do well since it's my first one. Not an excuse, but it's true -_-' sorry to everybody else who didn't like my bitching.

P.S. I don't like it when the authors complain either but I can kinda get their frustration now. Just a little bit

Darth Void Sage of the Force: I think I'll give him one. I don't really like taking from other fics but I really like the creatures he summoned in "Laughter of the Broken" so I'm just gonna use them. If Danasca or anybody has a problem with me doing that then they can PM me or put a review down and I'll see what I can do about it.

Danasca: Thanks, and I'm gonna cut him down from using that phrase unless he's about to do something psychotic or he's in one of his rare serious moments. I can't promise that I won't still over use it, but I will do my best (stands up and salutes)

everybody else who reviewed: I knew I'd regret naming it "Why So Serious?" -_-' hehe. Ya smart-asses ^_^ but I still love ya

If anybody is interested in being a beta for me just contact me cuz I'm having some trouble with where I want the story to got and the input would be greatly appreciated. You would also have some weight in helping me decide how the story progresses.

And without further ado, here is the latest chapter of "Why So Serious?"

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_**10 years later –**_

16 year old Naruto Uzumaki woke up to the sound of his alarm going off in the darkness of his room, if it could even be called that. It was actually an old abandoned warehouse that he had found one day a few years ago. With an annoyed grunt he rolled off his bed and fell to the floor. After getting his breath back he stood up and proceeded to take out the kunai hidden under his pillow and smash it into his alarm to shut it up.

God how he hated mornings. The only thing he hated worse was when he ran out of ramen (yes, he might be insane but he's still a ramen junkie).

" **My my, someone's certainly cheery this morning aren't they"**

_'Oh shut up fur-ball. You know better than anyone that I'm not okay until I've had my morning ramen' _thought the blonde with some annoyance. As he walked to the kitchen to make his ramen he began to think back on how he met what was probably his only REAL friend. Yes, he had become friends with the feared Kyuubi no Yoko. Although it WAS a rather rocky relationship at first.

As he began making his ramen he started to reminisce about how he met Kyu (Naruto's nickname for the fox) . Feeling a the beginnings of a flash back coming on, he decided to do it the right way. Already feeling slightly more awake, he stopped what he was doing and began channeling as much of Kyu's chakra as he could while making the ram seal.

"**Kit what are you doing?"** the newly named Kyu asked with amusement. Silence met his question. As he felt even more chakra being used he realized what his idiotic, albeit entertaining container was doing. Knowing he was going to regret it he sweat-dropped **"Pleeease tell me you're not wasting all this chakra on THAT idiotic jutsu. If you could even call that pathetic waste of chakra a jutsu"** having grumbled the last part.

_'HEY! I'll have you know that I love this jutsu!'_ ignoring Kyu's grumbling he said _'Quiet, the shows about to begin!' _he giggled.

With that, he grabbed his now finished ramen and sat on his couch watching the projected screen in the air he made to view his flashback on.

**Konoha, 5 years ago (Flash back)**

11 year old Naruto Uzumaki was currently in an the abandoned ware-house that he used for his hidden base of operations. It was here that he hid all his stuff and planned everything he did. Sure he had an apartment given to him by the Hokage but that place was simply too easy to break into.

So when he found this haven he made good use of it and turned it into his home. He had fixed the place up with anything pertaining to clowns he could find. Especially the sad clowns, since the marks that Ayo had given him 5 years ago had scarred and gave permanent tear scars on his face. Gigantic clown heads were stuck on springs and stuck in random places, gigantic stuffed animals that reached the roof of the cavernous ware-house were scattered here and there too. Hell, he even had a mini railroad with bumper cars instead of a train (think the joker's lair from batman. Any of them).

All in all, it perfectly described Naruto. Speaking of the blond, he was currently bent over a table with his goggles on, tinkering with something that looked strangely like something that Yuki no Kuni was currently working on. They called it a gut... a dun... a but... something like that. The boy was focusing on tinkering with the thing with a rare look of calm concentration on his boyish face, with the occasional mad giggle escaping his lips.

With a slight sigh, he stood up straight but left his black goggles on. Standing at 5 ' 3 he wasn't exactly the biggest kid around. But what he lacked in size he more than made up for in madness and intimidation. All of the kids at the academy avoided him like the plague, especially after that one lady and her son had confronted the "demon" about tainting the school.

The anbu were picking up pieces of her and her son for hours with Naruto laughing his ass off the entire time playing hackey-sack with the head of the mother. There was still a large red stain in the classroom by Naruto's seat from the incident.

His outfit was an odd one for a shinobi to-be though. He wore a torn up straight jacket that was used for the most dangerous of Konoha's criminals, but with the sleeves untied, and a dark red hakama with cuts all over it. Upon closer inspection, the hakama itself was actually white and the red was actually what looked to be dried blood.

With an insane smile on his face, Naruto picked up his new toy and pulled the trigger on it. Out of the end came a little flag that said "BANG!" in big letters. Getting red in the face from holding in his laughter he began jumping up and down as he pulled the trigger again while pointing it at a large crate lying around.

As he did, the flag shot forward at incredible speeds and smashed through the crate and part of the way into the concrete floor. Finally giving in to his urges, Naruto fell to the ground holding his sides from laughing. The only thing he forgot was that the crate he shot through had a very temperamental substance which he had used some of on that annoying woman and her son.

It was full of exploding tags with a half second timer.

Needless to say, his laughter momentarily stopped when the crated exploded and blew him through the wall and into a building across the ally where part of THAT wall fell on top of him. Now he was burried under rubble and his home had a rather large hole in it.

As the civilian came out of his house to see what had hit it he saw a pile of rubble that seemed to be shaking. Curious, he decided to investigate.

As he got closer he thought he heard something but shrugged it off and started digging through the rubble. When he saw the mop of messy blond hair in the rubble he knew that it was just the Kyuubi brat so he quickly began to rebury it, even adding some garbage and more stones to the already large pile.

Naruto knew the villager was doing this and decided to give his new "toy" a test on a moving target. Taking a moment to prepare himself, he tensed his muscles and jumped up as quick as he could to get himself out of the rubble. He almost fell over laughing when he saw the villager's scared face.

_'He probably pissed himself'_ he thought with glee. This thought led to him laughing even harder and actually falling over while holding his sides.

Standing up once more while still giggling maniacally, he slowly began walking to the civilian who began backing away once he saw Naruto fall. " Hey where do you think you're going?" Naruto mocked the man. "You tried to bury me in rubble, so let me return the favor." he giggled while quickly rushing the man as he scrambled to get away.

" Hehe too slow ya poor bastard" he laughed with amusement while grabbing the man and dragging him through the hole in the wall. Ignoring the man's yelps of pain as he was cut on the metal edges of the hole on entrance, he made 20 shadow clones without handsigns or smoke. "All of you start cleaning up this dump. It's starting to look like I live here" he giggled. He was thanking Kami above now that he had "borrowed" the scroll of sealing from the old man's office.

"What about you boss? What are you gonna do?" asked one of the clones with a curious look.

"Me? I'm gonna play with my new toy" he said with childlike enthusiasm. Ignoring the petrified look on the man and the laughter of the clones he dragged the man towards the back of the building where a giant wheel was set up. It had arm and leg loops to hold someone onto it as it spun around.

Giggling at his idea he began to tie the struggling man to the wheel while he explained. "Well you see Bob- Your name is Bob right?" he questioned with a look of genuine curiosity. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" screamed the terrified man.

Ignoring his outburst Naruto continued, "Right, well Bob we're gonna play a little game."

"A-a-a g-game?" stuttered the poor man. "Yes, a game. I'm going to put you on this wheel and my clone here-" he said as he pointed to a cloned standing with his hand on the wheel " is going to spin you while I put this blindfold on and then spin in a circle as fast as I can 20 times. Then I'm going to try to hit you with my new toy and you have to not cry out till I empty the rounds. If you can stay silent then I'll let you go. If you can't, well... we might be here for a while" he said with a mad laugh.

"ALRIGHT! JUST LET ME GO ALREADY!" screamed the man.

"Then let's begin! Start spinning him lovely assistant!" screamed Naruto. Now that the man looked at the clone again, he noticed that it had gotten a sparkly red dress from somewhere and was wearing some kind of make up on its face... a very gruesome sight indeed (Hey! She's a nice lady!)

As he was spinning he noticed that Naruto was done spinning as well and had his blindfold on. He was trying to aim that strange thing in his hand at him but was only succeeding in flailing his arm wildly. The man wasn't extremely worried since the boy didn't seem to have a knife like he usually did with his victims but he was still on guard.

And then Naruto fired his first shot. Hearing the loud BANG!, the man let out a startled cry only to realize that whatever it hit wasn't him. Naruto heard a poofing sound and the sound of objects falling and laughter after his first shot. Lifting his bandanna he looked towards his clones and realized that he had shot the one holding up the ladder and when it dispelled it had let the ladder fall, causing the clones on it to fall on the clones on the ground along with the heavy boards that they had been putting up. This made a large pile of slightly scratched up and laughing clones.

Giggling to himself at "his" antics, he lowered the blindfold and prepared to fire again. He was sure he would hit this time since he had snuck a look at the wheel when he wasn't looking at himself. As he was about to pull the trigger though, something happened that he wasn't expecting.

"**Miss"**

"GWAH!" surprised by the deep and slightly scarey voice coming from nowhere, his shot went a little higher than he had been aiming.

Bob was now a girl.

"Kami? Is that you?" yelled out Naruto while looking towards the sky. "I swears I been good mayam. I swea's it! Naruto's a good boy!"

**Hidden Location**

ATCHOO! "Tobi what the hell? Yeah" asked a blonde... guy? Girl? The author can't tell really(fuck you!) A man in a swirling orange mask turned to the... transvestite (Don't ignore me dammit, yeah! I'll blow your house up) and said "Don't worry Deidara-senpai! Tobi is sure that people are just talking about how much of a good boy he is!" while nodding vigorously.

**Back in Konoha**

"**No you idiot. Do you honestly have no clue who I am?"** asked the voice again in slightly annoyed way this time

"...Are you my... conscience? Do you wear a top hat and a jacket and have an umbrella? Oooh oooh oooh, do you sing songs about stars and have a little wooden boy you like to hang out with?" asked Naruto out-loud, ignoring Bob-erella for the moment.

"**... I will not even dignify that with a comment. Just get in here so I can introduce myself properly."**

"Huh? What do you mean get in he-" what-ever Naruto was going to say was cut off by the world around him turning black and the ground rushing to say hello...

**Mindscape**

"Ugghh... Where am I?" asked the blond once he woke up. He was standing in some kind of asylum that was flooded for some reason. He began walking down the halls and he noticed that the doors had dates on them and that they were all in horrible condition. Especially on the one that said October 10, six years ago.

Now Naruto was not idiot. He might be insane and take a little longer to get on the same page as everything else but he was by no means an idiot. Taking in how this place looked and the fact that the doors all had dates on them he guessed that he was somehow in his mind. The door with October 10 on it had only solidified his idea.

He wondered how he got here but immediately brushed it off. _'No use worrying about it now'_ thought the blond in a rare moment of coherent thought. As that thought passed through his head he noticed something. There was electric wiring connecting the lights on the ceiling. He counted 3 in all, one was blue and was the thinnest one was purple and was the medium sized one and one was red and it was about the thickness of his thigh.

Deciding to follow the wires, he followed them until he reached 2 large double doors. Shrugging, he opened them and came into a large cavern with HUGE cage doors held in place by a teeny tiny piece of paper that had 'seal' written on it in kanji.

" Why the hell is this place so different than the rest of my mind?" wondered the boy. A deep rumbling laughter answered his question.

" **Beats me kit. Maybe you're just weird..."** after a slight pause the voice burst out laughing.

" **Pffft bahahahah who am I kidding? We both know your bat-shit insane"** This only caused the voice to laugh more.

" HEY IT'S MY CONSCIENCE!" yelled a suddenly excited Naruto while pointing...well, excitedly.

All laughter immediately stopped after that comment.

"**Child, you are either extremely ballsy, have a death wish, or have just completely lost it for you to say that... I'm guessing the last one"** mocked the voice

Whatever comment Naruto was about to make was stopped as two large red eyes opened in front of him and a smirk with teeth as large as him were shown. Rather shocked by this, he stood shocked as the rest of the beast came into view.

A large blood red fox loomed into view, and while it wasn't NEARLY as big as the books say the Kyuubi was, it was still pretty damn big! To Naruto, atleast. Ofcourse Naruto, being Naruto, blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Hey Kyuubi"

Almost shocked at the child's relaxed attitude about this, the Kyuubi took a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking. **"Do you not fear me little human? I could crush you if I wanted to, it wouldn't even be very hard."** spoke the Kyuubi

"I'm sure you could if you weren't in the seal" said naruto, surprising Kyuubi even more. "As it is, you can't harm me because the seal won't let you" naruto was rather quick at reaching his conclusion for once.

Chuckling to himself the Kyuubi replied **"Well aren't you the smart one? And here I thought my container was just a mindless, yet entertaining, idiot. Maybe this isn't quite as bad as I thought"**.

"Hey Kyu" spoke Naruto, trying to get the fox to stop talking to itself. Slightly annoyed at the name, the newly named Kyu nodded his head at Naruto to show that the boy had his attention. **"What is it kit?"**

"You hate the villagers don't you?"

"**I have seen how they treat you, and some of the things they did seemed cruel even to me. So yes, I hate them on a slightly personal level."** Kyu said. If this shocked the blond, he didn't show it.

"I'll make you a deal. I know a way that would let you have a temporary body outside of the seal and I could supply you with a bit of chakra if you let me have control of your chakra and teach me stuff you know" spoke Naruto in yet ANOTHER clear headed moment.

"**Hmm... I will need time to think about this kit. I will set up a mental link between you and let you know when I decide."** Kyu said, while slightly amazed at the offer he still needed time to consider the pros and cons of such an arrangement.

Seemingly satisfied with his answer, Naruto nodded and let himself be carried out of his mindscape.

**Back in Konoha**

Groaning, Naruto got up and held his head. Apparently, he had landed face first on the ground when he fell.

Great

_'hey fox, can you hear me?'_

**'Nope'**

_'smart ass'_

Ignoring the fox's shouts of anger, the blond once more turned to Bob-erella. Grabbing his revolver once more, he slowly walked towards the cringing 'man'. Noticing 'him' getting more frantic the closer he got Naruto pointed his revolver at point-blank range at the 'man's' head. "Hey, look at me" he said with an undertone of something the man couldn't tell.

"Why so serious?" the blond asked, letting his full madness show. Cackling like a madman, which he was, he pulled the trigger ignoring the 'man's' scream. The man prayed to every deity he knew as the blond pulled the trigger.

Only for a small flag with 'BANG!' on it to pop out the end. Letting out a long shaky sigh of relief, the 'man' missed the look of madness still on Naruto's face when he pulled the trigger once again.

The pole thankfully stopped before breaking the floor this time, though the same could not be said for Bob-erella. The pole had managed to go straight through the man's forehead and now there was brain matter leaking out through the hole and onto the floor.

After he stopped laughing at this he turned to his 'Lovely assistant' "You. Clean this mess up and then dispel yourself." Nodding in acceptance, the clone set about his work as the original checked on the progress of the other clones. They were almost done, good.

Putting his revolver into the pocket he had made specifically for it, he began walking out the door.

"Well that was certainly an interesting morning."

**Konoha, present-day (Flash back end)**

The Kyuubi had eventually agreed to the deal and Naruto could be considered the smartest and person in his class if it weren't for the fact that he wasn't quite all there, and definitely the most cut out to kill anything that... well, anything that needed killing.

Naruto had long-since finished his 10th bowl of ramen and was currently rolling around on the floor laughing his ass off at his flashback. Even the fox couldn't help but chuckle at that memory.

_'Still think it's a useless waste of Chakra?'_ Naruto teased.

"**Alright, alright, I get it. It's fairly entertaining" **Kyu grudgingly admitted.

_'Damn Straight!' _Naruto let himself gloat for a minute while picking himself up off the ground.

"**Hey, weren't you supposed to be at the academy to meet your jounin instructor and hour ago?"** Kyu suddenly remembered.

"..." Silence was all that answered him as Naruto immediately stopped all his movements.

"**Kit?"**

Across the village a loud exclamation of "FUCK!" could be heard.

Dressing in a rush, he threw on his cloak and sprinted out the door. He was now 16 years old and was a good 6 ' 4 now. Taller than most of his classmates. His wardrobe had changed through the years as well. He now wore half an anbu mask over the top part of his face that was a fox that looked sad and was crying. He had also learned of his father through Kyu, and couldn't believe that he hadn't figured it out before. So in order to get back at the villagers a little bit, he bought a cloak just like the fourth's except black and with blood red flames at the bottom, and he wore a black hakama with traditional ninja tabi instead of the usual ninja sandals. He also wore no shirt, letting everyone see how finely chiseled he was and the Kyuubi's seal stood proudly on his lower stomach for the world to see.

Instead of the usual pouch of kunai and shuriken and the like on his thigh, he had storage seals tattooed onto the under part of his wrists and had other storage seals on his palms for his weapons like his revolver that he still carried with him as it was a powerful weapon when used properly. His headband was worn as a belt around his lower waist slightly tilted to the right.

Sprinting as fast as he was able, which was pretty damn fast considering his entire style of fighting relied on speed, strength, and trickery, he managed to get to the academy in a record time of 30 seconds.

Deciding that since he was already late, he might as well make a flashy entrance. He backed up a few steps and then readied himself to run as he threw a kunai through the window with a banner attached to it that said 'Ladies and Gentlemen, your host for tonight's show will be...'. After waiting for the banner to unfold and the shock to kick in he ran and jumped through the window, breaking it even more in the process, and did a rather flashy twist through the air and still somehow managed to land in an odd pose. Hearing nothing, he looked up to see what the problem was and saw...

An annoyed and slightly scared Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke. Since they were the only two still here he guessed that that mean they were his teammates.

_'YES! I missed Iruka's stupid speech he says every year'_ Naruto screamed in his mind in extreme happiness at not having to listen to Iruka. The Kyuubi, in his cage, could only palm his face and grumble at his host's idiocy.

"Oho, so you two are my teammates?" Naruto asked with apparent glee. One of his favorite things to do was setting up sas-gay to run into his fangirls. And the co-president of said fangirls was currently in their team. There was truly no limit to the fun he could have with this match up.

Grinning, he lazily stalked to them and slowly began circling them. Try as they might, even Sasuke couldn't keep up his emotionless facade when Naruto was openly sizing them both up like meat.

Little did he know how close he was to the truth. Naruto was currently thinking up ways to wreak havoc with his teammates while they waited for their sensei. If he was this late then it could only be one man.

Hatake Kakashi

Naruto had never personally met the man or even seen him for that matter, but that didn't bother the blond too much. "So Sakura, how do you fell about finally getting on the same team as the man of your dreams?" Naruto asked with an undertone of something that sounded like mocking in his voice.

Still rather shaken up from his odd stare she shakily replied, "Y-you b-better st-top look-king a-at S-s-sasuke-k-kun like t-that Naruto-b-baka". Smirking, he began to slowly walk up to Sakura while taking out a serrated kunai. It was the same one that had been used to cut the tears onto his face.

As he got closer to her, he let slight Killing Intent seep out of him in a way that was very unnerving to those who experienced it. He didn't just blast it, he let it slowly seep out, making it seem like everything around him was dying. He usually used some of Kyu's Killing Intent (referred to as KI from now on) but since he didn't want to scare her too bad he just used his own.

It was enough though, as she began visibly shaking in fear, her pupils dilating to the size of pins. Giggling madly at her actions, he slowly brought the kunai up to the corner of her mouth "Why so serious, Sakura-chaaan?"

Despite him stretching out the -chan suffix, she knew that whenever he uttered that phrase shit was about to hit the fan. No truly scared for her life, she began to tear up as she realized that Sasuke wasn't doing anything to save her. He was her true love and he wasn't doing a damn thing!

Sasuke was watching this with wide eyes as he could only compare Naruto with Itachi now. The only thing that differed though was the fact that Itachi didn't enjoy what he did while Naruto _reveled _in it.

When Naruto started approaching Sakura he couldn't even move. He didn't really like her and her fangirl tendencies, but still... he didn't want her to be mutilated! He was unable to do anything though, as Naruto's unique killing intent flooded the room making him want to kill himself just to get rid of the feeling it gave him. He was pretty sure he shit his pants out of fear when he started moving the kunai across her face.

Naruto was slowly tracing the kunai around Sakura's face as she hyperventilated. He slowly and carefully scratched a tear onto her face. It wasn't deep enough to bleed but it would definitely be there for a good while. With that, he stood back to seemingly look at his work. Nodding his head in approval, he unsealed a tri-tipped kunai from his right wrist (yup, he knows THAT jutsu.) and flung it, hard, at the person just opening the door.

Standing with the strange kunai less than an inch away from his face in the wall was Hatake Kakashi. He was dressed in standard jounin garb with a face mask and his head-band was pulled down onto his left eye. The strangest thing about him was his silver hair though. It seemed to defy gravity almost.

His usually bored eye was wide open, looking at the kunai in front of his eyes. He saw it, but couldn't believe it... He heard a sharp intake of breath as he turned to look at Naruto.

Naruto would recognize that hair anywhere. The last time he saw it was when it was running away from him on the day that destroyed the old him, and where he got his tears. Inhaling sharply in surprise, he began growling as his more demonic features began to show. "**Y**O**U!**!**!"** Growled Naruto in his demon infused voice.

Startled, Kakashi turned to look at the youth and smiled his strange eye smile. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" he asked cheerfully.

"**I D**O**N**'T** KN**OW, DO** YO**U **RECOG**NIZE T**HESE?"** and with that, he ripped his half-mask off showing his crazed red slitted eyes and the tears carved onto his face. Recognition flashed across the jounin's face as one thing crossed his mind.

_'Fuck'_

_

* * *

_

Well what you guys think? I didn't quite get to show how I'm trying to make Naruto in this one but eh. Penny for your thoughts?

Till Next Time!


	4. Unsuspecting

Alright guys votes for pairings so far are:

Ayame-2

Anko-2

Shizune-1

Mei- 1

and harem-1

Still haven't decided on the harem thing but I'm willing to take votes for it. Just be sure to include a vote for one specific girl just in case I decide not to. Be sure to vote for which girl you want before the next chap though cus that's the end of the poll.

Also I think that I am going to take votes on Naruto's summon. I do plan on giving him one and if no one votes on it then I'll just go with the one I had in mind but just say what animal you want him to summon in a review and I'll tally up the results. It'll be over within the next chapter or two though, so make it fast :D

Also, I decided that I'm gonna retract my statement in the last chapter about Naruto knowing Hirashin. It would kinda overpower him at the moment so yeah. Maybe later on I'll bring it back though.

Before I forget, the Naruto in this fic genuinely hates the villagers. Not just dislikes, HATES them. So don't be too surprised if he all of a sudden randomly kills some villager for no apparent reason. And don't be too surprised if the Sandaime or a few people allude to some kind of serial killer guy cuz it's Naruto if they say anything like that. I'll make it clear if it's not, but otherwise it's gonna be Naruto. They just don't know, or they don't have evidence yet :P

And on with the show!

* * *

_**Konoha –**_

_'Fuck, I need time to gather my thoughts'_ thought a frantic Kakashi. "Uh... Meetmeontheroof" he said in a jumble before shunshining away. After making sure that Kakashi wasn't going to randomly appear from nowhere, Naruto almost immediately relaxed and raised a hand to his mouth in an attempt to suppress the laughter that threatened to come out. As he was doing that, the three-pronged kunai that he threw when Kakashi entered disappeared in a 'POOF!'. The smoke cleared to reveal... another Naruto!

The second Naruto turned to the original and gave a very exaggerated thumbs-up and said "You are a-go for launch Master Chief sir!" and handed him something. After that, he dispelled. This caused Naruto to abandon trying to cover up his laughter and let his demonic features fade away. As he walked out the door he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "Oh the fun we four shall have" he said with a mysterious giggle as he walked out the door.

_'What the hell was that?'_ thought an extremely freaked out Sakura still trembling from how close he had been to killing her (he wasn't, but SHE doesn't know that). Completely forgetting the fact that he had just neglected to save her, she turned to the still unmoving Uchiha.

"Come one Sasuke-kun! We can't let Naruto-baka get there before us!" exclaimed the banshee as she started pulling on Sasuke's arm. _'Hn. What a freak'_ thought a still slightly freaked out Sasuke. He had managed to hide the dark brown spot on the back of his shorts with a henge so it wasn't noticed as Sakura managed to pull him out the door.

As they both stepped into the hallway they saw a swirl of leaves out of the corner of their eyes. The leaves were blown away to... somwhere(where DO they go?)... to reveal Kakashi in all his lazy glory. "Yo." he said with a lazy wave "I need to tell you something about your teammate if you're all going to be on the same team. Let's go inside this empty classroom here so he doesn't walk in on this little conversation" he finished with an eye-smile while pointing to a classroom down the hall.

Sasuke decided he might as well know something about his sociopath of a teammate so that way he didn't kill them in their sleep. They both went in to the empty classroom and waited for Kakashi to make sure the blond wasn't around to overhear.

Checking to make sure they were out of earshot, Kakashi let out a familiar giggle as he pulled out a walkie-talkie from his pouch and spoke into it "Master Chief, this is mirror. The packages have been sent to the post office and are about to be wrapped. Repeat, the packages are about to be wrapped. Over". After a moment of static Naruto's voice could be heard "Roger that Mirror. This is Master Chief, wrap the packages and then mail them to HiddenFox and CrouchingTiger to use with the plan. After that send Duck-ass and Banshee to meet me on the third floor. Over."

"Roger. Over and out" said 'Kakashi' with suppressed laughter. Gathering himself once more, he walked into the room that Sasuke and Sakura were in. Seeing their questioning stares 'Kakashi' decided to fill them in. "Sakura, this might be the most shocking to you but..."

"Sasuke is gay"

The words seemed to echo throughout the empty room before either reacted. Sakura screamed while Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise. " WHAT? SASUKE-KUN YOU CAN'T BE GAY! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED!" cried Sakura through her tears. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M NOT GAY DAMMIT!" screamed Sasuke right back.

Both were too preoccupied to notice 'Kakashi' coming up behind both of them. Their shouting was halted as he rendered them both unconscious with a quick chop to the back of the neck. After taking out his earplugs, he made four shadow clones appear by him. "Alright, you two take these two to hiddenfox and crouchingtiger. You two, henge yourselves to look like the packages and meet the boss on the third floor" Naruto said.

He had dropped the henge and revealed that he was really Naruto. A chorus of "Hai!" was heard as two of the shadow clones picked up Sasuke and Sakura and carried them off to Kami knows where and the other two did a henge to look like them. The Naruto that gave them their orders stood erect and saluted them with a huge grin on his face before dispelling himself.

Upstairs, the real Naruto was playing russian roulette with some other clones. "Alright Naruto 2, your turn" said one of them. Naruto 2 grabbed the revolver and put it against his head saying "Ha! I almost ALWAYS win at this game!" with a big smile on his face he pulled the trigger.

And blew his brains all over the wall before the 'POOF'ed into nothingness as his other clone's laughter echoed through the empty hallway.

Hearing people approaching he dispelled his clones and looked to see who it was. Seeing it was only his henge'd clones, he made a show of looking them up and down before frowning slightly. "Hm.. Sasuke you need to be more of an emo and Sakura, just obsess over him more." he said with a slight cackle at his plan. He knew all about Kakashi's bell test and had been planning this since he figured out who his sensei was. Finding out that it was a cause of his horrible child-hood was just a bonus.

Naruto didn't hate the man by any means. He was just rather jaded from his protection, or rather lack-thereof, from when he was younger.

"OOOHHH, I know what can help you be more like duck-ass!" spoke 'Sakura' with a mad glint in 'her' eye. Knowing he was probably going to regret it, if he knew himself right, 'Sasuke' asked "What's your idea?".

Naruto heard a shriek of pain and turned back to see 'Sakura' literally shoving a broom up 'Sasuke's' ass. Cringing, he fell over laughing while clutching his sides... Until he remembered that his clone's sent him ALL their memories. That shut him right up.

Sighing in defeat, he told the other two to hurry up and follow him. Pulling his pants back up and carefully standing up straight again, mindful of the pole literally up his ass, he and 'Sakura' followed the Naruto to the roof.

When they got there Kakashi looked in control once more and did not seem surprised that Naruto wasn't angry anymore. As soon as they all sat down, he began "Well, let's begin with introducing ourselves.". 'Sakura' looked rather unsure and said "Well...What do you want to know sensei?"

"How about your likes, dislikes...Hobbies, dreams for the future and things like that." suggested Kakashi. "Why don't you introduce yourself first?" exclaimed Naruto. "Yeah, you look kinda suspicious." supported 'Sakura'.

Kakashi looked slightly annoyed and blinked at them before answering "Oh... Me? Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi...I have no desire to tell you my likes and dislikes...dreams for the future? Hmm...And I have lots of Hobbies..." he said vaguely with a bored expression on his face.

_'All we learned was his name' _was the collective thought. Startling them out of their thoughts "Why don't we start over here with the one who doesn't like me for reasons I don't know" Kakashi lied. "My name's Uzumaki Naruto! My likes are cup ramen and when Iruka-sensei takes me out to get ramen!" this part was a lie, seeing as how everyone with eyes knew that Naruto and Iruka did not get along even on the best days "My dislikes are the three minutes it takes for ramen to cook! And my dream..."

_'...Maybe I shouldn't be worried after all. He doesn't sound like the disturbed kid I've been hearing about. Does he only think about ramen?' _mused Kakashi.

"MY DREAM IS TO SURPASS ALL THE HOKAGES AND GAIN THE RESPECT OF THE VILLA-" his extremely loud exclamation was cut off by a snort of amusement. "BAHAHAHAHA. I'm sorry. HAHA. I just can't keep a straight face while you say that shit! HAHAHA." 'Sakura' managed to get out between her fits of laughter. By this point she was on the ground with tears running down her face.

Naruto glared at the pinkette with a look that promised pain."Oooookay?..." Kakashi said uncertainly, he turned to 'Sakura' "you're turn Pinky"

Turning slightly red at the jab, 'Sakura' answered after composing herself "Well my name is Haruno Sakura. My likes are..*looks at 'Sasuke' and giggles (probably remembering shoving a broom up his ass)*... my dislikes are Ino-pig and people who deny me and Sasuke-kun's love for eachother." 'Sakura' paused here to get a dreamy look on her face. After snapping his fingers infront of her face a couple times, Kakashi managed to get her back on track "My hobbies are...*looks at 'Sasuke' and laughs slightly louder*... and my dream is...*looks at 'Sasuke' AGAIN and bursts into hysterical laughter*"

"Riiiiiight... Well you're up next sir-broodsalot." the copy nin said with his famous eye-smile. After shooting a dark glare at 'Sakura' he began his introduction. "Hn. My Name is Uchiha Sasuke. I have no likes and many dislikes. My dream... no, my ambition is to kill a certain man and avenge my clan" 'Sasuke' finished darkly. This only served to make 'Sakura' laugh harder and Naruto to nearly fall over the railing he was sitting on.

Sweat-dropping at his team's weirdness, Kakashi began to piece together exactly what kind of team he was going to have as they collected themselves. _'Well let's see. I thought that I might have a problem with sensei's son at first but he seems okay, just kind of odd. Sasuke and Sakura are just how their file said they would be. I guess it's time to tell them about the test.'_ thought Kakashi.

"Alright, well I think it's time I told you about the gennin test you're going to take." started Kakashi "It will be to-" he tried to finish, but 'Sakura' interupted him by saying "What do you mean Kakashi-sensei? I thought we already took the gennin test."

"Nooo, that was the test to see if you you had what it took to BE gennin. THIS test will tell you if you MAKE gennin." stated Kakashi with an eye-smile, like he was talking to a very small child. Seeing that noone had any questions, he continued "Well as I was saying, the test will be tomorrow morning at training ground 7 at 7 a.m.". With that said, he stood up and began to walk away before he paused. Turning back he said "Oh, and don't eat any breakfast. You might throw-up" he dead-panned before shunshining away.

After making sure he was gone, 'Sasuke' pulled down his pants and reached behind him and SOMHOW (I wrote it and even I don't want to know how) managed to pull the broom out of his ass that 'Sakura' had shoved up it. After he did that he handed it to Naruto who took it gingerly and wiped it down.

"Riiight, well anyway-" he said as he thrust the broom handle through 'Sakura's head causing her to disappear in a puff of smoke. "can you tell me what you think of our new smoke-bombs" he asked as he unsealed three of his handmade smoke pellets that he had been trying for a while to make. He was trying to give them a loud bang, flash, and then smoke. So far he had been unsuccessful but he thought this new batch might work.

Seeing 'Sasuke' nod he threw down the smoke bombs with a laugh. They hit the ground and made an incredibly loud 'BANG!' and the sound of something big falling. Once the smoke cleared it revealed a rather large hole in the floor where Naruto had been standing. Rushing over to the edge, 'Sasuke' looked down and saw a pile of rubble all the way down on the first floor.

Underneath the rubble, Naruto could only muse _'Why is it that every time I test something I make it causes an explosion and I end up under a pile of rubble?'_

"**Beat's me Kit, maybe you're just lucky that way" **Kyu mocked with a chuckle in his cage. Realizing that his efforts were in vain, he tried to ask Kyu for help _'Hey furball, would you mind giving us a hand?'_

Taking the sigh coming from him as a yes, Naruto immediately summoned the specialized clone that he had made for Kyuubi. After hearing a slightly muffled voice saying something that was probably not so pg-13, he began to feel the rubble above him moving. As the boulder in front of his face was removed he found himself looking into blood red slitted eyes.

"**You know Kit, your eyes never cease to amaze me out when I see them. No one should have that kind of look in their eyes."** spoke Kyu with a slight shiver. Not that he'd ever admit it. "Are you going to help me out or what?" asked Naruto in a slightly muffled voice due to the RUBBLE ON HIS CHEST!

Seeing the situation his friend was in, Kyu gave a chuckle of amusement before clearing up the rest of the rubble off Naruto. As he stretched, Naruto looked over at Kyu. He was a good 6 ' 5 with blood red hair that blended to black at the tips. He wore a tattered red cape that was fastened at the front by a chain and bandages over his torso. A black sleeveless muscle shirt was worn over his upper torso, showing his powerful build, and black ANBU style pants with a flame design on the bottom edges in black. Combined with his demonic features (dark whiskers, claws, fangs, etc.) it made for a very intimidating look.

Both turned to look at the sound as the clone from the roof could be seen falling down the 5 floor to the bottom while holding his sides in laughter. 'Sasuke' hit the ground with a thud as he continued laughing. With his brow twitching, Naruto felt like anouncing his pressence "OI! It wasn't THAT funny!" he glowered at him.

"Says you boss! You couldn't see the look on your face!" 'Sasuke' laughed. It was at this point that all three heard a loud 'CRACK' and looked up to see that a very large portion of the roof had broken off and was currently headed toward... Naruto. Seeing this, the blond got a familiar smirk on his face as he looked towards 'Sasuke'.

Noticing the look, 'Sasuke' began to back away "No! Boss don't do it man" he pleaded still slowly backing away. "I didn't mean it, I swear. Hon-" he was cut off as Naruto used kawarmi with him. Seeing that there wasn't enough time to escape, the clone sighed in defeat as he pulled out a blindfold and put it on before taking a huge-ass joint out of seemingly nowhere and lighting it. He managed to get one good hit in before he was crushed.

Laughing at his clone's actions, and probably because it transferred the memory of getting partially high, Naruto and Kyuubi left the building and turned down the street towards Ichiraku when Kyu stopped. Seeing his friend no longer with him Naruto turned to look back "What's up Kyu? You going off to do whatever again?" the blond asked. Whenever he summoned the fox, he would sometimes disappear and dispel himself a couple days later. But since he didn't relay back any memories, Naruto had no clue where he went or what he did.

"**Yeah. I'll dispel myself like usual when I'm done. Ja ne."** spoke Kyu with a slightly uncomfortable look on his face as he literally disappeared. _'Man I gotta learn how he does that' _thought Naruto as he ducked inside the ramen stand.

"Hi welcome to Ichiraku Ramen, how may I help you to- Oh! Naruto-kun!" exclaimed a feminine voice. Smiling at the happiness that could easily be heard in the voice he sat down at the counter in his usual seat and took off his mask after looking around. Luckily, there didn't seem to be anybody else in the stand today so he didn't have to act like he normally did. He didn't know why but he hated being like that in front of Ayame and her old man.

He didn't get it, he loved doing what he did. He loved screwing with the civilians and shinboi, hell he had caused a few to kill themselves and he had shown up to their funerals in a purple suit with a bottle of champagne just to get drunk and laugh his ass off at the family. Ofcourse, this meant that there had been a few other funerals immediately afterwards but whatever.

"So what can I get you Naruto-kun?" asked the voice again, startling Naruto out of his thoughts. Turning towards it, he was greeted by the sight of Ayame leaning over the counter looking expectantly at him. Her long brown hair went down to the bottom of her shoulder blades, a couple strands of it trailed across her heart-shaped face and over her chocolate brown eyes. Underneath her white apron she wore a simple plain white kimono that strained to cover her rather large bust, if Naruto had to guess he'd say that she was atleast a C-cup. A cough interupted his observations. "Like what you see Naruto-kuuuun?" Ayame asked with a slight blush and a knowing look on her face as she stretched out the -kun suffix.

Realizing he'd been caught staring he had the decency to blush, but if she wanted to play then he'd play too. "Let's just say I think I know what I want for dessert hime" he cooed with his patented foxy smirk. Knowing she had just been outdone, she quickly gathered herself together "So do you want your usual buffet?" she teased, knowing how much Naruto ate.

He nodded at this and let himself relax a little bit. Ayame walked back to the kitchen to give her father his order. "I thought Naruto was here. Let him know about the news hon" a gruff voice could be heard from the kitchen. _'Good news? I wonder what that could be'_ wondered Naruto as Ayame walked up to the counter.

She had a slightly strained smile on her face as she turned to him "Hey, great news. My father got a sponsor for the stand. We can afford to open up an actual restaurant and hire a full staff for it". Naruto could see tears forming in her eyes as she said this. "Ayame-chan, that's great news! So why are you crying?" he asked with confusion evident on his face. He could feel dread forming a pit in his gut. Naruto didn't think he'd like whatever her answer was.

Hearing him asking this seemed to set her off as she started full-on bawling now. Sobs shook her small frame as he could only watch in stunned silence. "O-o-our spons-ser li-ives in Kum-mo. We'd hav-vvv-ve to move there t-t-to get him-m to do the d-deal" she managed to get out between sobs.

Naruto's entire world was just shaken to its core. The only people he could honestly say he liked, hell he considered them family, were leaving him. He would be alone. Naruto didn't know why that bothered him but it did. _'Ayame-chan... You can't leave. I won't last without you and Teuchi.' _he thought as he felt tears of his own forming in his eyes. Startled, he raised his hand to his face to trace the tears carved onto his face. The last time he had cried had been the night he had gotten his scars.

"When...When do you leave?" he managed to choke out of his throat that had gotten uncomfortably tight. "Tonight" she whispered of her tears.

* * *

I know I know, you all hate me with how I just ended this chapter I'm sure but I needed to end it before it became a novel. This just happened to be a good cliffhanger :P

I might not update for a while since I'm sick and don't really feel like writing this while hallucinating from a fever.

What is Naruto planning with Kakashi and his test? What will happen with him and the owners of Ichiraku? What will happen between Naruto and Ayame who seem so close? Find out in the next chapter. And if you're glaring at the screen with anger at this cliffhanger then I just have one thing to ask you.

Why so serious?


	5. A Smile

**Alright! Sorry for the longer wait than usual but like one of my favorite sayings says, "Shit happens"**

**Now the votes for pairing so far are:**

**Ayame: 4**

**Anko: 4**

**Shizune: 2 **

**Mei: 3**

**Harem: 5**

**Well I guess that means that the polls for pairings are officially closed, sorry if you wanted a different outcome but if you did then maybe you should have stopped being a lazy fuck and voted :P. On a side note, I will not announce exactly WHO will be in the harem. You'll just have to read and find out ;) I don't think you'll be too disappointed though.**

**the guy who left the review saying "fuck you": Don't know why but your review made me laugh my ass off. Thank you for making my day good sir/madam.**

**X- Death-x: I KNOW it's wrong, that's why I had him do it. I told you that he was fucked up in the head didn't I? **

**RussianFighter: Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Thank you so much for suggesting that fic for me to read. It was one of the reasons I haven't updated as quick as usual. It also gave me an idea of where this story is going. I even helped it along without even knowing it :D. **

**If anyone wants to know what the fic was it's called "Everyone has darkness" by Darthemius. Its pretty original and it's really good. But enough of this shit! IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWEST CHAPTER!**

**XXXWARNING!XXX This chap contains fluff. Might be because it's got a part to play in the story. Might be because I decided to watch Titanic and download the soundtrack to listen to for a week(I don't care what anyone says. Titanic is the most beautiful movie I have ever had the privelage to watch and if you disagree then you can take your opinion and shove it up your own ass)**

**XXXWARNING!XXX This one goes out to the NarutoXAyame fans reading this. Please be sure to read the ENTIRE chap before you rage quit. You'll regret it if you don't**

**And here... we... go!**

**

* * *

**

**Konoha –**

Naruto stared at her with unbelieving eyes. She couldn't be leaving, she just couldn't! Deep down though, he knew that she was. And that he would be unable to do anything. AGAIN! He stood from his chair, forgetting his ramen, and jumped over the counter to land by the crying girl. She seemed rather startled at his actions but latched onto him once he was close.

Feeling her tears soak the collar of his trench coat, he wrapped his arms around the girl to hold her close. While holding her, an idea began forming in his mind. Waiting until her sobbing had died down to hiccups so she could hear him, he began his plan. "Ne Ayame-chan I've got an idea that might cheer you up". At this she finally looked up, showing him her tear-stained face "What is it?". Realizing how close they were she blushed with the not so innocent ideas running through her mind.

_'Well that WOULD be surprising. And it might cheer me up'_ she thought while her blush deepened _'What am I thinking? This isn't the time for that!'_

Closing that train of thought, she focused back on Naruto as he began talking again. "If I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" he smirked "Now let's go ask Jiji if you can have the day off". At this he picked up Ayame bridal style, ignoring her surprised gasp, and shunshined them back to the kitchen.

Teuchi stopped preparing Naruto's ramen as he heard a loud 'BANG'. Turning around, he saw confetti falling to the ground and Naruto in the middle of it holding Ayame. Seeing how close they were gave him an idea.

_'Still, they look good together. I know how they both care for eachother and they would be good for eachother. If only they weren't so damn oblivious!'_

A knowing smirk formed on his face "Always have to make the flashy entrance don't you Naruto-kun?". Smiling sheepishly at the comment, Naruto replied with a chuckle"You know me. If you do it you might as well do it right".

"As much as I know you enjoy holding my daughter like that, I'm fairly sure that she can stand on her own now Naruto-kun" he spoke with an amused glint in his eyes. Remembering that he was still holding her, they both blushed as Naruto sat Ayame down. "Now what do ya need?" Teuchi asked, playing dumb. He had heard everything and had a fairly good idea what the 'surprise' Naruto had in mind was. However, like anything involving the blond, nothing could be certain. "Tou-san I was wondering if I could have the day off" asked Ayame.

Still playing dumb, "Why would you need the day off?" Teuchi asked "Did Naruto finally tell you?". Looking confused, Ayame wondered what her father meant. Turning to him, she asked Naruto, "Tell me what? What's he talking about Naruto-kun?". Glaring at Teuchi's amused look, he answered "I'll uh... tell you later Ayame-chan. I promise". Knowing that he always kept his promises, Ayame nodded. Naruto turned to Teuchi again, "So can Ayame-chan have the day off or what old-timer?"

After grumbling slightly at the 'old-timer' remark, Teuchi answered "Alright fine. Ayame-chaaaan can have the day off" accentuating the -chan suffix. "Just make sure it stays rated PG alright naruto?" he fixed the blond with a fake glare.

Seeing a chance to get Teuchi back for all his teasing the blond didn't reply just yet. Instead, he pulled Ayame close into an intimate looking embrace. With her hands on his chest and his on her ass, they made quite the picture to Teuchi. Naruto smirked at the man slowly reaching towards a large cleaver lying nearby. "Now where would be the fun in that Jiji?" he mocked. "I'll make you a different deal. I promise we won't get CAUGHT doing anything above PG. How about that?"

Seeing Teuchi's face redden and Ayame's blush go off the charts, he couldn't hold back his laughter. As people all across the village heard that laughter they couldn't help but shiver at it. A lot of their relatives had died to that laughter after all, so their fear was rational. After his laughter died down to chuckling Naruto turned to Teuchi again, still holding Ayame, "Well Jiji, if we want to finish by night then I guess we'd better leave. Ja ne!". As Teuchi threw the cleaver at Naruto's head, the blond shunshined away in his usual manner. A large amount of purple smoke sprang up out of nowhere and there was a loud 'BANG' from within. The sound of party favors could be heard as the smoke cleared and confetti rained to the ground.

Shaking with actual rage Teuchi yelled "NARUTO! IF YOU TOUCH MY BABY GIRL THEN I SWEAR TO KAMI THAT I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE THE KYUUBI SEEM LIKE A DEPRESSED SAINT!"

**Amegakure**

"**ATCHOO!"**

Jumping slightly at the noise, a blue haired woman with a paper flower in her hair and dressed in a black cloak with red clouds on it turned to a sniffling Kyuubi. "Are you quite alright Arashi-sama? If the temperature is too cold I could turn it up"

Sniffling a couple times before answering **"No that's quite alright miss Konan. It was just a sneeze, that's all"** Kyuubi waved her off. While on the outside he appeared normal on the inside he was panicking. He wasn't one to believe in randomness and completely believed in the old superstitions. Like when you sneeze someone is talking or thinking about you. **_'Dammit who's thinking about me? I hope it isn't the kit. Kami, I know he has eyes and ears everywhere but I didn't think he'd be able to infiltrate Amegakure so soon'_** he mentally sighed. **_'There's no point in worrying about it I guess. I'll just have to be extra careful and watch him more closely when I return'_**

He followed the blue haired woman down the dark corridor till she stopped at a door. Facing him she said "This will be your quarters during your stay Arashi-sama. I hope you find them to your liking, and please don't hesitate to call for me if you need anything". Opening the door, Kyuubi began to walk in till he realized that Konan hadn't left yet. Pausing in the doorway, he spoke **"Thank you Konan-san, that will be all for now. Just let pain know that I'm ready for negotiations whenever he wants. Just send a messenger when he's ready."**

Bowing to him, Konan turned back the way they came from and walked away. After entering his rooms Kyuubi closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh.

"**I'm sorry Kit but I must do this. I hope you'll understand but I doubt you will. Just know that this is the only way, I'm so very sorry. Gomenasai"**

**Konoha**

"ATCHOO!"

"Are you alright Naruto-kun?" asked a concerned Ayame as they walked down the sunny street. "Yeah I'm fine. I'm pretty sure that your dad is still ranting about me though" he joked. Ayame laughed at his joke as they continued on their walk. She had yet to find out where they were going but since Naruto had left before his usual twenty bowls of ramen and it was about dinner time she guessed they were going to eat. She was so caught up wondering about where they were going that she almost ran into Naruto as he stopped in front of a building. Startled, she turned to look at where they were and could feel her mouth hit the ground.

They had stopped in front of the most expensive restaurant in the village, 'The Fox's Den'. Nobody really knew why the owner had named it that but the food was good enough that no one complained at the choice. It was a favored place to eat by the wealthy and powerful such as corporation owners and crime bosses. Turning to Naruto, she gave him a look that basically said 'You CAN'T be serious'. Smirking at her, Naruto reached behind her head and pulled it back with his mask in hand. Giggling slightly at her expression, he put it on as he put his arm around her shoulders and began leading her to the entrance.

Upon entering, Ayame was amazed by the splendor of the place. The walls were covered in beautiful artist's renditions of the Kyuubi. Its tails trailed behind it as it appeared to be running across the walls with a mad smile on its face. Silk tapestries hung from the ceiling as they depicted wild foxes doing a variety of things. They appeared sleeping in a den, hunting, playing with another fox, a litter(don't know what you call a group of new-born foxes so I'm using this) of newborn fox kits. But the most prominent thing in the entire building was the HUGE fire pit in the middle of the eating area. It was easily twenty feet wide with large bronze statues of both the Kyuubi in the middle of an attack, and the Yondaime Hokage on his summon Gamabunta preparing to block its claws with his sword. There was a raised dais on the edge of the pit where a speaker would stand and tell the tale of the battle between the Yondaime and the Kyuubi while the statues actually fought in the pit. There was a row of benches nearby to watch the spectacle.

That was what made this place so expensive. Sure, the food WAS to die for but what really attracted people was the pit. No one had been able to figure out how the statues moved. There were no sealing experts in Konoha, nor were there any shinobi that could use Koton. It was this mystery that attracted so many rich people to the restaurant, they wanted to try and either buy the pit or buy the knowledge on how it worked. The owner had always respectfully declined their offers though no one knew why.

A chuckle from Naruto interrupted her observations though. Still smirking underneath his mask, he led her up to the podium where a man in a tuxedo stood glaring at Naruto, not even attempting to disguise his disgust with the blond. Reaching the podium Naruto smirked at the man's glare, "Excuse me my good man but my friend and I would like a seat in the den". The den was an area that only those who's money could rival a damio's could sit. It was located on the opposite side of the place, where you walked through a cave-like doorway that led to a large indention in the floor that was a one hundred scale replica of a fox's den. Inside it was another statue of the Kyuubi but it was curled around the seating area as it lay against the wall.

Sneering at the blond, "What makes you think YOU of all people would be able to afford that area let alone be allowed in it" he spat out. Letting out a slightly less controlled mad giggle, the blond leaned closer to the man as he made eye contact. Seeing the man shudder a bit upon seeing his eyes made Naruto let out a loud laugh. "What makes you think YOU of all people can stop me. I don't believe I was asking for a seat. I'm TELLING you that we are going in. I'm ASKING you to escort us there and do you job."

Still glaring at the blond the man sneered "Why don't we let the owner decide". Smiling at his supposed victory, the man walked away to a nearby door and entered it.

After he was gone, Ayame looked up at Naruto's face "What was he talking about Naruto-kun? Does he have something against you or something?". At this question he tensed and his face softened from the mad smirk he had with the waiter. Meeting the girl's gaze he whispered "It's nothing. Don't worry about me Hime"

Ayame blushed at the sudden change in his voice and the look in his eyes. She lost herself in his eyes, losing all concept of time. She had never really noticed the different shades of blue in his eyes that swirled in. Behind all of it she also saw how broken he was. She saw how hurt and sad and completely BROKEN he was. She didn't know what caused it but she immediately wrapped her arms around his waist and held him close making soothing sounds. "It's alright. It's all going to be alright" she cooed as she buried her face into his chest.

Naruto stood unbreathing and unmoving. He didn't know what had just happened but there was something in her gaze that had seemed to pierce straight to his core. He had just let all of his hidden emotions show in his eyes at that point. And then she began to comfort him. He just couldn't wrap his head around it all. Slowly wrapping his arms around her he buried her face into her hair as he let himself enjoy the moment.

A rather loud coughing interrupted his train of thought as he turned an annoyed gaze to the person that interrupted them. A tall dark haired man in an expensive looking crimson kimono stood holding their waiter by the back of his collar and giving them an amused look. "I'm sorry for the intrusion Naruto-dono but it has been brought to my attention that, how did he put it again? Ah yes, 'The demon and his slave are trying to kill you! He said that nothing will stop him from doing what he wants! Quick sir, call the Hokage down here to deal with him!'." at this the man fixed the waiter with a dark glare. "I don't know why he would even think I was that incredibly stupid but it's besides the point. I shall allow you to deal with this man and I shall show you to your table afterwards.".

He threw the frightened man at Naruto and Ayame's feet and turned to the podium and began to gather the menus.

Naruto glanced at Ayame before grudgingly letting go of her and slowly walking towards the prone man. Actually, walking didn't quite describe it. He stalked towards the man like a predator might play with his prey before killing it. Seeing the man on the ground start trembling, naruto was about to unseal one of his special tools but noticed that Ayame was watching aptly. His hand hesitated on the seal in indecision till he finally decided that he didn't want her to see how he got when dealing with the villagers. Growling lowly he grabbed the man by the collar and lifted him to eye level. He let some of Kyuubi's chakra make his appearance more feral.

Seeing the anger filled slitted red eyes made the man begin to tremble. As soon as he felt the killing intent he pissed himself out of fear. Bringing his mouth near the shaking man's ear Naruto's demonic voice whispered **"You're lucky that my mate is here. If she wasn't then you would be begging for death right now.".** At this, the man's eyes widened even more and he could feel his heart about to burst from his chest. As he was about to throw the man out the door, Naruto whispered one last thing. **"And if you so much as THINK about doing anything to her then I guarantee this... You will wish that the Yondaime had let the Kyuubi destroy this pathetic village instead of what I will do to you and whatever family you may have"** he threatened.

Ignoring Ayame's curious look at the changes in his appearance, he made to sealless shadow clones to hold open the doors as he threw out their ex-waiter. Taking a minute to compose himself and let his feral features fade away, he took a deep calming breath before turning to face his mate.

_'Wait, did I just call her my mate? Must be something in Kyu's chakra I guess'_ he mentally shrugged

Without letting her reply, he put his arm around her shoulders again and began leading her towards the area where the den was located with the owner following them with the menues. Ayame was too distracted by the place's grandeur to notice the occupant's glares at the moment thankfully, so Naruto just met their glares with his own mad smile. Many of them cringed away while a certain few of the wealthier occupants in the room chuckled and gave him a wink. He nodded slightly to each of them as the wordless message was transmitted. The winks basically meant "Everything's good as far as we know", and the nod was acknowledgment of the fact.

As they got closer to the cavelike entrance, Ayame was drawn out of her gazing enough to notice the harsh glares directed at Naruto. _'I wonder what those glares are really about. He managed to avoid the question last time but I'm going to make him answer once we get to the table'_ she mentally resolved. She was so into her thought that she didn't actually notice when they entered the den. She jumped slightly when Naruto grabbed her hand to help her down into the seats. The seats and tables were actually in little holes in the ground. The seats were against the walls with the table in the middle.

Accepting his help down into the seat, she looked around and realized that they were actually the only ones back there at the moment. "You'll have to excuse me for a bit Ayame-chan, I have to talk with the owner here about some stuff for a second. I'll be right back though." he finished with a wink. Blushing slightly, she could only murmur "Don't take too long".

Smiling at her, he turned and followed the owner back to the mouth of the Kyuubi's statue, where he pulled one of the canines and the mouth opened up to reveal a door leading to a hidden room. Both entered and let the door shut behind them as the mouth closed.

Taking a seat at the rather small table in the sparsely furnished room, Naruto kicked his feet up onto the table as he gazed questioningly at the owner. "Well? Is all going according to plan?". Smirking, the Owner's form flickered for a moment before it changed to Naruto. "Hai Boss. We are slightly worried that there might be a few troublemakers soon but they are nothing to worry about. Just the usual village idiots as usual."

"Excellent. How much longer until we are ready to initiate phase one?" Naruto asked with a giddy laugh.

"It shouldn't be too much longer Boss. I'll tell the boys to try and hurry it up a bit but you might have to go talk to the Raikage yourself. And from what we've heard, Mei-chan is still unable to completely defeat Yagura's(not sure if that's his name or not. I mean the leader of the side opposing Mei in Kiri's civil war.) forces so you may have to help on that front as well." the clone explained with a slightly annoyed expression on his face. Naruto, be it his clones or the original, had never really had much patience for just waiting around.

Naruto sighed in defeat. "Alright. Let Shark and Zeus know that I will be coming to their aid soon and that they should be ready when I do.". Kami he hated having to wait around for his plan to happen.

"Yes sir Boss!" the clone saluted with a slightly mocking face.

Standing from his comfortable position, Naruto stretched a bit before speaking again. "Alright, that's all. Get another me to take our orders and cook the food. That way I don't have to worry about someone poisoning Ayame-chan. Then I want you to give out the orders understood?"

The clone mockingly saluted with a large grin on his face before he put the henge back up to look like the owner once more. Taking a minute to get back into character, he opened the door and walked out of the Kyuubi statue's open mouth and back into the main eating area. As he was on his way back to his office he flagged down a specific waiter. "Take the boss's order and give it to one of OUR cooks." he ordered, accentuating the 'our' to make sure the clone knew which cooks he meant.

As the disguised clone rushed off, he turned to make eye contact with all the other disguised clones out there and used a secret body language that they had made for just this purpose. He blinked and sniffed while wiping his thumb across his nose and then rolled his right shoulder _"Boss says try and hurry up. He's getting anxious and you know how we get"_. All of them nodded slightly to show understanding before he turned to one specific one that appeared to be some kind of dignity with the symbol of Kumo woven into his kimono. He stretched both arms before taking a deep breath while stomping his right foot. _"He says that you should be ready for his arrival at any time. He'll get there when he has time."_

This time the disguised clone coughed loudly into his napkin and wiped his eyes. _"I am ready whenever he is"_. Satisfied at this, the Owner continued back to his office where he sat down at his desk. Performing a quick and subtle sensing jutsu he judged that there was no one able to see or hear him. He put his hand on one of the many stacks of papers that littered his desk and lifted it up. It opened much like a door would and inside it was a hidden compartment that held a long range walkie talkie. After taking a minute to make sure it was on the right frequency, he hit the button. "Shark this is The Owner. Master Chief is soon to land at your lodgings. Repeat, Master Chief is soon to land at your lodgins. Over."

There was a moment of static before a deep and rather gruff voice answered. "Roger that Owner. Tell him that we are prepared for his vacation here whenever he decides to take a day off. Over and out"

Smiling at the ease at which everybody was operating, the Owner put the walkie talkie back in place and replaced the paper stack back where it was as he leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the desk. It was all going smoothly. Everything was working as smooth as a well oiled machine. Like clockwork.

**Back with the original Naruto and Ayame**

Naruto let out a grunt as he plopped himself down onto the cushion of the seats on the opposite side of Ayame. "Sorry, I had to catch up with my friend a bit and we didn't feel like taking the chance that someone might be listening." he smirked. "just so you know, you can't tell anybody about the hidden door in that statue"

Ayame nodded, only half paying attention. Seeing the expression on her face, Naruto tried to ask "Hey what's wrong?". Tried, being the key word. In the middle of his sentence, the waiter walked up and decided to ask their orders. Sending the waiter an annoyed look, Naruto signed him the message _"Perfect timing you idiot"_ before answering. "I'll take my usual."

The clone looked expectantly at Ayame for a moment before she seemed to realize that they were waiting on her. Blushing slightly out of emberassment, she shook her head for a second before placing her order(not important so I don't feel like describing it). As soon as the waiter left with their orders and Naruto was done sending death glares at his back, he turned back to Ayame. "As I was saying before the waiter interrupted, What's wrong?" he asked with a slightly worried expression.

She looked away, refusing to look at him. When she spoke it was so quiet that even Naruto's sensative hearing could barely hear it. "Why does everybody seem to hate you and glare at you all the time? Did you do something wrong to them?". He tensed up immediately after her question. After an inner debate with himself on wether or not he would tell her, he eventually decided that he would tell her the basics of it now and explain more in depth at some later date.

"It depends on who you ask" he joked. Before he could continue, Ayame interrupted him again. "I've heard stuff around the village you know. I've heard the customers talking. They say stuff that you've done. They whisper how scared they are of you. Hell, after hearing about some of the things that they say you've done I'm pretty scared myself.". At this last part she finally met his gaze.

Each word she said cut Naruto deeper than any knife. He didn't outwardly show anything though. He didn't flinch or frown or show any facial expression. Instead, he absentmindedly brought his right hand up to carefully begin to trace the tear scars on his face. Just as he was about to begin his explanation, Ayame beat him to it. "I also don't care about any of that." she whispered. Upon hearing this, Naruto grew very still. "I don't care about what you may do to other people that may or may not deserve it. I only care about the fact that you are my closest friend and you won't tell me anything that's wrong with you. You always shrug off my worry and just go back to whatever you were doing. I'm tired of you not telling me anything! You've said that I'm your best friend too so dammit, why don't you act like it? You can trust me." her voice had been rising this entire time but the last part was whispered in a broken whisper.

Naruto had been still and unmoving during the entirety of her little rant. When she was done, he still hadn't moved and didn't appear to be breathing or anything. With slow careful movements he reached up and took off his mask and sat it on the table as he stood up. Ayame wasn't able to see his eyes since his bangs hung over them and left them in shadow but she was afraid that she had gotten him upset and he was leaving. Her fear was doused though, when he began to edge towards her. He took small, measured steps over to her where he stood directly in front of her. Still he had not said a word.

As she was about to ask, Naruto fell to his knees in an oddly fluid movement to where he was the same height as her and she could finally see his eyes. They were filled with something she couldn't really describe but it made her feel strangely safe. Slowly, he raise his hand to where it was laying against the side of her face. Unknowingly, she actually leaned into his touch as he spoke in a quiet tone that she had only ever heard before when they whole thing with the water came up and she asked why the man didn't seem to like him. "Gomenassai Hime. I didn't mean for you to feel that way, I just didn't want you to worry. I can't completely tell you why the village hates me or why I do what I do just yet but I promise. I will explain everything to you very soon. And I always keep my promises." he winked at the end, some of his usual attitude breaking through the warm disposition he was showing at the moment.

Ayame didn't really trust her voice after Naruto had just displayed a rare genuinely warm moment, so she just nodded her head. Chuckling slightly, Naruto settled himself down beside her as they waited for their food to arrive. Soon the waiter came back and paused when he saw Naruto sitting very closely beside Ayame with his arm around the back of the seat behind her and her leaning into him. Raising one eyebrow, he signed _"Wow Boss. You sure are a fast worker. What exactly finally got us to warm up to Ayame-chan anyway?"_

All he got in return was an empty glare so he decided not to push as he quickly gave them their food and walked away to do his other duties.

About halfway through the meal, Ayame noticed something. Deciding to tease him a little bit, she put down her fork and turned her face to Naruto. "Say... Since when did you start calling me Hime?". She smirked as she saw Naruto's face redden. "It just kind of slipped out in the moment." he gave a nervous laugh. "Did you not want me to call you that?" he asked, turning the tables.

Realizing that she had been caught on the end of a loaded question, Ayame immediately changed the subject. "Well I sure am full Naruto-kun. Will you finally tell me the surprise? (when Teuchi was teasing them and he implied that naruto told her his feelings. Go read earlier in the chap if you forgot)"

Smirking at his obvious victory he turned to face her. "Well I suppose I could" he teased. "If I tell you though, it's gotta be at the right place so I'll shunshin us there."

Sighing, she nodded her acknowledgment. She wrapped her arms around him as he stood and picked her up bridal style again. He knew he didn't have to but she didn't need to know that.

**Hokage Monument**

When the smoke and confetti cleared, Ayame felt herself being put back onto her own feet. Since her eyes had closed on their own accord just before she had been shunshined, she thought that now would be a good time to open them...

Only to find that she couldn't. Quickly, she reached up to find that a piece of cloth had been wrapped over her eyes. But when she reached up to remove it, her small hand was stopped by a larger, rougher one.

"Sorry Ayame-chan but that would ruin the surprise. But don't worry, I won't let you fall" Naruto chuckled.

She was slightly worried about falling but she trusted Naruto. "I know you won't. If you tou-san sees a mark on me then he'll kill you." she joked right back. Ayame let out a laugh as he audibly gulped.

Being very careful, Naruto led her up to the top of the Monument. Even more carefully, mindful of the slope, he helped her to the top of the Yondaime's head.

Ayame didn't know where she was but she could tell it was high up, if the wind was anything to go by. Her heartrate increased as the ground beneath her began to slope downwards. Thankfully, they didn't descend too far down though. Getting rather anxious, Ayame turned to where she thought Naruto was. "Can I finally take this thing off? Is this the surprise?" she asked.

"..."

Recieving no answer, she grew more anxious. "Naruto-kun?"

"..."

Silence was all she received. "Naruto?" she called louder. This time she felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around her waist from behind. She put on a pout when she both heard and felt him trying to hold in laughter. Smacking his arm, she turned to face him while still remaining in his embrace. "It's not funny! I didn't know what happened to you and I got worried." she mumbled the last part.

She felt his silent laughter die down as he slowly freed one arm from her waist and reached to the back of her blindfold. As he fumbled with the knot, Ayame raised her hands to a more comfortable position on his chest.

_'Why are his hands shaking? Or maybe I'm just imagining things.'_ she wondered.

Sure enough, Naruto's hands WERE shaking. As she put her hands on his chest, he nearly lost his grip on the knot before he got back in control. The reason for this was because he was extremely nervous about what he was planning. _'Kami I hope I don't fuck this up! I really hope I'm not making a mistake with this' _he mentally worried. **_"Kit I never thought that you'd be one to worry about these kinds of things. Trust me, she is just as into you as you definately are into her. If the dreams are anything to go by anway."_** the voice snickered. _'Furball! you're back! I told you to never bring those dreams up! It took me fucking forever to get the stains out of my sheets.'_ both parties mentally sweat-dropped at the last statement._ 'You know the punishment for bringing that up Kyu.'_

**_"Oh Kami no! I was just kid-"_**

_'Too late' _Naruto cut him off.

**XMindscapeX**

Naruto's mindscape had changed much over the years. Instead of the empty assylum and cage for Kyuubi there was now what could only be described as Naruto's warehouse only ten times bigger. One side of it was a literal labrynth(think a mix between M.C. Escher and the labrynth from greek mythology) that had heavily chained doors scattered randomly throughout it that lead to past memories. The wall oposite it was covered in scroll racks that were full to the brim. The scrolls inside it were the combined knowledge of Kyuubi and Naruto and there were some sofas near one corner with a fish tank and a few lamps. If Naruto ever forgot somthing and needed to remember then he could just go find the scroll and read it here. In the middle was a gigantic floor mat that was easily twenty feet by twenty feet. It had various burns, cuts, gouges through it and into the floor. Parts of it were melted, frozen, and one corner of it looked like steel. This was where Kyuubi supervised Naruto while he was learning a new jutsu (some people argue that training in his mind wouldn't work for muscle memory and shit like that but it makes sense to me if he's just trying to learn the flow of chakra in a technique).

The rest of the area was basically the same as the warehouse. However, instead of the entrance there were large blood red colored double doors that had black bars all on the outside(a door with bars on it. best way to describe it.) and a large lock with the kanji for "Seal" on it. From inside it came screams of agony.

**"KAMI WHY? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS?"** screamed what sounded like the Kyuubi.

"Oh Danzo-kun! I don't think my old bones can take much more of this" came a voice that sounded eerily like the Sandaime.

"I will show you why I was the one meant to be Hokage!" shouted what was probably Danzo.

**"MAKE IT STOP! I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST MAKE IT STOP!" **came the voice, followed by hysterical crying.

Five Naruto's sitting at a nearby table playing cards had large maniacal grins as they listened to the Kyuubi's screams. They were clones that the original Naruto had made inside his mind to deal with memories that dispelled clones gave him so he didn't have to focus on it. He could just let them do it and focus on other things. "Do you think the boss overdid it?" asked one with a mad glint. "Nah. I'd have made it worse." said another. This caused them all to throw their cards into the air and burst into laughter as more screams ensued.

"Danzo I thought I had your root disbanded!" screamed the Sandaime.

"Men, give him somthing better to do with his mouth than talk!" Danzo ordered. Multiple "Hai!"s followed.

**"!" **(editor is being stupid here. just picture Kyuubi screaming bloody murder)

(it's not technically Yaoi since I REFUSE to describe that monstrosity. I apologize for any disturbing images. If it makes you feel any better, I threw up while writing it)

**XKonohaX**

Naruto smirked slightly as he let Kyuubi's screams fade into the back of his mind. Still fumbling with the knot, he leaned his head near Ayame's ear to whisper "Now don't immediately open your eyes okay Ayame-chan?".

She blushed slightly when she felt his breath tickle her ear. Unable to trust her ability to speak, she just nodded. Getting rather annoyed with his inability to undo the knot he had made, Naruto unsealed a kunai and used it to cut away the annoying piece of fabric. After resealing the kunai and checking to make sure that she wasn't peaking he slowly moved his face closely in front of hers to where there was only a couple of inches in between them. "You can open your eyes now Ayame-chan" he whispered.

Blue. It filled her vision when she opened her eyes. Blinking back her surprise she noticed how close her and Naruto's faces were and blushed. "Is this my surprise Naruto-kun?" she asked, mimicking his whispering. Instead of answering he just slowly moved his lips closer to hers. "Somehow I get the feeling that you're not surprised by this." he joked lightly.

Whatever reply she may have had was cut off when their lips connected. To say that it was the most amazing kiss of their lives would be stretching it quite a bit since neither of them were very experienced in this type of thing. But whatever they lacked in experience they made up for in emotion. Naruto was helpless as he felt her reach through the cracks in the wall around his heart that he had built long ago. She reached through and managed to reignite the dull embers that were his heart.

Neither knew how much time had passed but they eventually had to come up for air. As Naruto opened his eyes and looked down at Ayame he saw how red and swollen her lips had gotten during their exchange. That combined with the blush and slightly glazed look in her eyes made his knewly rekindled heart soften slightly. He touched his forehead to hers. "I love you". The glazed over look in her eyes was quickly replaced with one of surprise. Damnit, he hadn't meant for that to slip out but now that it had he realized that it was true. _'Well no point in denying it and it's too late to take it back. Let the pieces fall where they may I guess'_

Before he could finish mentally berating himself over his slip up, her lips were on his again though this time they seemed more urgent. When they parted for breath once more she looked directly into his eyes. His eyes that no longer appeared quite so sad, quite so lonely, quite so broken. Both were breathing harder than normal as she gave a smirk and short laugh "Do you *pant* have any idea how long *pant* I waited to hear you *pant* say that?"

Smiling slightly at her, Naruto pulled her into a tight hug until both their breathing slowed down. After they were breathing normally again he turned her to where she was facing the village. He openly laughed at her shocked expression when she saw the beautiful view. Not the normal mad, spiteful, or mocking laugh he usually gave. A regular laugh. The kind of laugh he had only ever given Ayame and occasionally Teuchi.

After letting her gaze a bit, he leaned down and whispered into her ear "I found this place one day while I was exploring. It's been my favorite thinking place ever since and as much as I would love to stay here with you, we need to get you to the gate."

Ayame frowned as she looked up and noticed that the sun had set long ago and it was now time for her to go. She reached up and put a hand on Naruto's cheek as she smiled sadly at him. "Why don't we take the long way down to meet my dad at the gate?" she asked. Naruto nodded silently and grabbed her hand as he helped her back to the stairs that civilians used to get to the top.

**XKonoha Village GateX _- Twenty Minutes Later-_**

Naruto could see Teuchi waiting up ahead near the gate house with a controlled expression on his face, but Naruto could tell that he was trying to cover his sadness at leaving the village with a gruff outward appearance. As he walked Ayame up to her father, he felt that something was not right. Shrugging it off, he turned to look at the man he had come to see as a father-type figure in his life over the years. Unable to completely express the emotions he was feeling at that point, he didn't say anything and just walked up to the chef and gave him a hung. After getting over his surprise, the gruff man cleared his throat as tears began to gather at the corners of his eyes and returned the hug.

After Teuchi had gotten Naruto to let go of him, Naruto turned to Ayame. Ever so slowly, he reached a hand up to her face and let it rest against her cheek. He could feel the tears gathering in his eyes as she leaned into his palm with tears of her own. Smiling slightly, he used his thumb to wipe them away as he gave her one last kiss before he let her go and stood back as they slowly made their way out of the village.

Watching them walk away brought the tears closer to his eyes. Along with those tears came a bad feeling in the pit of his stomache. Something was about to happen, he just knew it.

"AYAME-CHAN!"

Said brunette turned back to look at the small form of the blond in the distance. It was not too far to see his face however, and that was what stopped her in her tracks.

Naruto...

Was crying.

He never cried. Ever. Even when they were running around when they were younger, no matter what happened the blond never cried. He once had nearly had his arm ripped off when they had been playing in the area near training ground 44 and a large animal had ran out at them. It appeared to be some kind of tiger and it had immediately gone after Naruto and tackled him to the ground. It had spent the next five minutes going to town on the young child with its claws and fangs until a strange lady in a trench coat with purple hair had saved him. He hadn't even cried then.

"AYAME-CHAN! I PROMISE I'LL COME FOR YOU ONE DAY! I'LL FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS VILLAGE SO THAT I CAN GO FIND YOU AND THEN I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO! I PROMISE HIME!" Naruto shouted as loud as he could. Wanting the whole world to hear about his new-found happiness.

Now many people would call Naruto happy-challenged, or insane, or just plain unlucky. What happened next was none of these. What happened next was something Naruto was far too afraid to even have nightmares about.

With all of his instincts screaming "SOMTHING IS WRONG!" at him he managed to pick up the sound of somthing flying through the air at just the last second.

With a smile on her face, Ayame yelled back to him "I LOVE YOU UZUMAKI NARUTO! NEVER FORGET THAT!"

_'Never'_ she mentally added, still with a smile on her face.

But Naruto's face was the complete opposite. He had gone deathly pale and his eyes widened as he looked towards her. He ran to her as fast as he could and still she had a smile on her face.

And with a smile on her face, the kunai that Naruto had been racing against found its way through her skull and into her fathers. Teuchi never saw it coming, and Ayame's smile would now never leave her face. Never.

Naruto reached her just as she began to fall, Teuchi momentarily forgetten. He looked at her lifeless eyes, and the smile frozen onto her face. He could hear and feel his renewed heart and sanity breaking once more.

**_"Kit..."_** said Kyuubi sadly. All the gay torture in the world was not enough to distract him from his host and friend's pain at the moment

If Naruto heard him he gave no response. He raised a shaky hand to trace Ayame's cheek one last time before he closed her eyes. Slowly it began to rain while the wind gradually picked up till it was gale-force. Lightning and thunder filled the air. All except for the area around Ayame and Teuchi, where Naruto had been standing. One minute he had been there, and then one flash of lightning later he was gone. All that was left was a cracked mask of a crying kitsune.

**XOn Top Of The WallX**

A lone anbu member stood atop the wall in the maelstrom. He turned from the motionless blond that stood under the gate and let the genjutsu drop as he pulled out a walkie talkie. After pushing a button on the side he spoke into it "Danzo-sama the mission was a success. Unsure as to how much of a success yet but serious damage has been done to the target's already shaky mentality".

There was a moment of static before Danzo's voice came through "Very good Hawk. Report back to base so we can begin debriefing"

"Roger" said Hawk before jumping away.

All the while, the storm grew continuously stronger. And there was a large dry patch of ground where a cracked crying kitsune maske lay.

* * *

**Alright folks, that's a wrap! I know you AyameXNaruto fans were probably about to kill me when I said that she was killed and I was sad while writing it but it was for the good of the plot that I did it. **

**I won't tell you about Naruto and Ayame's future relationship but just know that if you pay attention to the words, you'll figure it out.**

**Don't forget to review! Reviews are my source of food and I am starving**

**Till Next Time**


	6. There was some confusion:Author's notice

**Okay, it seems that there was some confusion in the last chapter. I tried to make it obvious but I guess I didn't so I'll just tell you guys now.**

**THE WHOLE THING WITH AYAME'S DEATH WAS A GENJUTSU**

**That's why I said "he dropped the genjutsu". The Root member on the wall had been using a genjutsu on Naruto. Hence why there was EMPTY dry ground with only naruto's mask. It's cus the bodies were never there. None of that actually happened except for Naruto causing the storm thing(which will be explained why he can later on). **

**So basically, he walked her to the gate, had the little talk with her and teuchi, and then he cried while they walked off. As they began to walk off, the root member used a genjutsu on naruto(the bad feeling he had was the root member targeting him).**

**Just trying to clear up some confusion on the last chap. DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW :P**


	7. Update

**Hey guys, sorry for not updating as quick as usual but my muse seems to have been escaping me lately :/ **

**Just putting this up to let you guys know that I'm currently working on Chap. 6 as you're reading this and that I should have it up within a few days at the most. SHOULD being the key word there. I make no promises that I will have to keep but I will do my best to update soon:P**

**In case you decided to skip the last author's note, here it is again.**

**THE WHOLE THING WITH AYAME'S DEATH WAS A GENJUTSU**

**There, I made it big so everybody could see it. The root member used a genjutsu to upset Naruto mentally, but now it is unsure as to how unstable he has become. You'll find out this chapter unless I get carried away again. I shouldn't though -_-'**

**While I'm thinking about it, I want to make an announcement(thing?) about the harem pairing. It will NOT have 1561285641321654123654 girls in it and there WON'T be 634315728549412 girls that just fall in love with Naruto on sight for no reason. There's very very few fics that can pull that shit off and I don't want to even attempt to, so the harem will be small. Period.**

**If anyone wants to beta for me the just PM me and let me know. Cus right now I don't have one and it would help to bounce ideas off of someone.**

**Expect most of this to be repeated in the next pre-chap AN by the way:P**


	8. The Coming Storm

**Alright! It's time for the next Chapter!**

**In case you decided to skip the last author's note, here it is again.**

**THE WHOLE THING WITH AYAME'S DEATH WAS A GENJUTSU**

**There, I made it big so everybody could see it. The root member used a genjutsu to upset Naruto mentally, but now it is unsure as to how unstable he has become. You'll find out this chapter unless I get carried away again. I shouldn't though -_-'**

**Sorry for not updating as quick as usual but for some reason when I tried to sit down to type this I just... couldn't. If that makes any sense. If you've written something before I hope you get what I mean by that. Like when you think 'Well I should go type this chapter up... yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh...'. My words are failing me when I try to explain that so eh :/**

**While I'm thinking about it, I want to make an announcement(thing?) about the harem pairing. It will NOT have 1561285641321654123654 girls in it and there WON'T be 634315728549412 girls that just fall in love with Naruto on sight for no reason. There's very very few fics that can pull that shit off and I don't want to even attempt to, so the harem will be small. Period.**

**Also want to give a shoutout to Tristan76 and .Insanity for helping me with some problems I had with the beginning and basically beta-ing.**

**Well I think that's it so here we go!**

* * *

The storm had started out like any normal, albeit fast, one. Clouds had gathered in the sky and began to give everything a dark gray tint. Within a minute it was pelting down rain with enough force that any umbrellas were ripped through by the rain drops. Not long after that, it had started to hail. FUCKING HAIL! This was fire country! When the hell did it EVER hail? These thoughts were shared by a vast majority of Konoha's population.

The storm only continued to worsen against the civilians' hopes, unfortunately(-insert sarcasm here*). The wind had gradually picked up to the point that it was blowing random objects in the street around in the air. Trash, garbage cans, small furry animals, and a few random carts that were unfortunate enough to be outside were flying over the heads of the villagers and through the streets, causing a fair amount of damage. By now, the civilian population were all in either the basements of their homes or the basement of a friend's home with food supplies and your basic emergency kit, convinced that this was the end of the world. The ninja were not that lucky though.

Apparently some of the higher up shinobi had detected something off with the storm. They had sent some of the chuunin to where the storm was the worst and waited for them to report back.

Imagine their surprise when only one of the original 7 made it back, covered in blood with his left arm from the elbow down missing, the rest of him covered in lacerations. The man, Kiro Tsuchie (random name I made up), had managed to hold on to life till he was transported to the hospital. He had managed to tell the jounin that found him, one gekko hayate, that he and his team had been ambushed by something. It had moved too fast for him to see but he thought that it was "some kind of wild animal on steroids and heroine". Unfortunately, the man had lost too much blood at that point to be saved so he passed on soon after. After staying a moment to pay his respect to the dead man, Hayate shunshined to the top of the hospital.

XHospital RoofX

The swirl of leaves was quickly blown away quickly by the howling wind, so they provided no shelter as Hayate appeared on the roof and was quickly drenched in rain. "*cough* Damn, why did it have to be *cough* *cough* me who goes *hack* out in this shit.*cough*" he complained (and rightfully so). Taking a moment to look around the surrounding area, he leaped off the roof towards where he found Kiro and took a closer look at the street. There appeared to be a trail of blood on the ground as well as footprints that he guessed were both from Kiro, but it was so muddy by this point he couldn't be sure. Sighing at his luck today he began to follow the trail to wherever it led.

Thankfully, it did not lead very far, only down the street a few blocks. It led into an alleyway that seemed to be a dead end farther down, with blood and gore all over the walls. That was the first thing Hayate noticed. The second was the smell.

To say that it smelled bad would be like saying that he only had a slight head cold. After getting over his initial recoil to the smell, he placed a piece of cloth over his mouth and entered the alley way. Grotesque was the word that came to mind as he examined the bodies in the alley. Two of them were just ripped into shreds, reminiscent of chopped meat, while another one of them looked like it had been turned inside out. Three others were only covered in numerous cuts that looked fairly deep, while the last one seemed to have had her head twisted all the way around. "What the*cough* hell is this!" Hayate gasped "This*cough* couldn't have been done by a wild*cough* animal."

As he crouched down to inspect one of the bodies, he noticed that there were footprints that didn't appear to match any of the bodies. Following them slowly, he found that they led out towards the exit of the alley and then suddenly disappeared. Hayate fell into a coughing fit as he pieced together some of the evidence he had found. It was obviously a human that had done this, as the footprints proved, and it was more than likely a ninja, as no one else would be able to get rid of their tracks like that and only they would willingly be out in the storm tonight.

Both his thoughts and coughing fit were interrupted as he heard the sound of something staggering down the street, the splashing too uneven to be walking. Taking out a kunai, he peaked around the corner to see a dark figure about a hundred yards down the street staggering forwards with seemingly no destination in mind. His grip on the kunai loosened slightly as the figure fell over into the mud and slugishly crawled its way over to the side of a building, where it clumsily stood up again, falling down two more times before it succeeded.

Annoyed that a drunk would be out in weather like this, Hayate took a step out of the alley way intending on confronting the person and telling them to go home. Before he was halfway there though, he heard an odd gurgling sound. Stopping in the road and suppressing a rather violent coughing fit, he attempted to listen closer.

Sure enough, after a while the gurgling sound faded into something that sounded like sobbing. Rather weirded out at this point, Hayate began to slowly back away as the strange figure stopped sobbing and began breathing heavily and loudly. He was almost back to the alley when he he heard something that stopped him in his tracks.

It was laughter.

At first it was quiet and strained, but as time wore on it became louder and less controlled, cracking in odd places. By the time Hayate managed to unfreeze himself it sounded more like some kind of mad cackle than laughter. 'What the fuck? How drunk is this guy?' he mentally questioned himself 'I mean Kami, I've seen horrible drunks before but this is just something else!'

At this point the figure decided to return to quiet sobbing. Reigning in his thoughts, Hayate at this point decided to give the man a wide berth. Unfortunately, his plan was ruined as the coughing fit he had been suppressing decided to make its appearance at last. *COUGH* *COUGH* *HACK* *COUGH*

Hayate slowly opened his eyes after the fit was over to see that the figure had turned its head towards him and it had stopped sobbing. Sighing slightly at his horrible luck, he began walking towards what he could now see was a young man. As he drew closer, he began to make out facial features on the young man and could finally put a name with the face.

It was Naruto Uzumaki, the 'Demon' of Konoha.

To be perfectly honest, Hayate did have a slight grudge against the blond. Not because he was the container of the nine-tails, but because the young man was the center of a lot of problems that the shinobi had to deal with.

Mainly the murders.

No one, including Hayate, had managed to find any proof of it but all knew that it was Naruto. The blond seemed to know that they knew as well, for he would always leave behind an abstract picture of a fox that could only be seen from a certain angle.

His heart rate increased as he neared the young man, gripping the kunai in his hand slightly tighter. His elevated heart-rate ended up making his coughing worse though, so the closer he got, the worse he coughed. By the time he was within ten feet of the teen, Hayate was hardly able to breath. "Uzumaki*cough*why are you*cough*out*cough* here in this*cough*weather?" Hayate managed to get out in between coughs, having to shout out over the roar of the wind and rain.

When he didn't get an answer from him, Hayate ventured closer, "*cough* Didn't you*cough* hear me? Why*cough* are you-"

He was interrupted as the blond in front of him turned to him and gave him a crazed grin on his tear and blood-stained face. Startled, Hayate backed up slowly as Naruto began to stalk towards the frightened man(tell me you wouldn't be) "What's wrong Hayate-san? You don't look well. Almost as if you've seen a ghost." the teen laughed, a mad glint in his eyes. Hayate didn't respond, just kept backing up slowly. He knew that in his current state(his sickness) he wouldn't be able to handle the jinchuuriki.

However, one thing he didn't expect was for the crazed teen to suddenly fade out of view, almost as if someone had erased him from existence. On high alert now, Hayate opted to drop his kunai and pull out his katana. He slowly turned in a circle, looking all around the area for any sign of the blond. Coughing a few times, he turned around as he heard a noise behind him and swung his katana in a horizontal swing towards it.

His blade only hit air, but the sound of someone walking towards him from behind continued. By this time, Hayate could barely breathe because of the coughing fits he was in. Turning one more time to face the non-existent source of the sounds, he staggered and let his katana drop a little low.

Naruto's mad laughter erupted around him "My my Hayate-san, you seem to be getting worse. If the weather is bothering you then maybe you should go check into the hospital. I'm sure that you haven't lost too much blood to be taken care of." he broke off here into a fit of giggling.

Hayate clenched his hands tighter around the handle of his sword as he heard the blond basically flaunting the murderers done in the alley in his face. An expression of anger worked its way onto his face, coughing momentarily gone in his anger "I don't know Uzumaki, we'll just have to wait and see when I take you there. Hell, you can even invite*cough* whatever friends you don't have to go with you" Hayate shouted out.

Naruto didn't respond to this for quite a while, long enough that Hayate began to wonder if the teen had just left. He had begun to relax when he heard the blond say something too quietly for him to hear, "What was that? You'll*cough* need*cough* to speak*cough* up Uzu*cough*maki, I can't hear you*cough* over my thoughts of*cough* avenging the*cough* chuunin you killed today and the storm." he yelled through his cough.

"I said" Naruto began in a voice that Hayate had never heard the blond speak in. It sounded...broken, angry, sad even. "I said, that I'm going to need to borrow your sword after I'm done with you and everyone else in this fucking hell-hole."

Hearing this, Hayate yelled out over the storm, "What's that supposed to mean? Sounded an awful lot like treason Uzumaki! Why would-" before he could finish his statement, he was interrupted by Naruto "SHUT UP! You have no idea what's happened do you? Don't worry though, for soon you and EVERYONE else will know. Yes, they will. They'll be sorry for hurting us. Us and the precious Ayame-chan." Naruto let out a series of sobs that turned into laughter towards the end. And then I'll finally be able to win my unfinished game against Borealis. It was my turn too and I had the fucker by the balls. I swear if he cheats one more time... He'll never learn that Aphrodite and Ms. Miller are actually his twin brother's maids, and that they're the reason his lifelong friend Bill is in a coma from the supposed bear attack he was in. When in reality it was those two who attacked him. Poor Bill!" the blond began muttering under his breath for a few moments, Hayate unable to hear the blond over the wind. "You know, the voices are telling me to kill you quickly. Whispering for me to go for the sweet spot. Just to the left of the spine, fourth lumbar down; the abdominal aorta; it's a metallic taste, human blood. Copperish. But if you cut it with peppermint snapps that goes away quick." Naruto said in an off-hand, yet somehow intense, manner.

By this point Hayate was thoroughly freaked out, as well as soaked by the heavy rain along with hail pelting him, and had wished he had listened to his common sense when it told him to get the fuck away from the teen. "Come now*cough* Naruto, surely*cough* you'd*cough* realize that attacking*cough* a fellow leaf-nin*cough* would be a horrible idea. Just think*cough* of all the*cough* trouble it*hack* would cause you." by the end his speech, even Hayate thought he was starting to sound a little desperate.

The blond surprised him once more when out of nowhere he replied, "Hayate-san may I ask you a question?". Hayate still couldn't pin-point the voice, as it was still echoing all around him, but what made him reluctant to answer the question was the fact that he had a bad feeling about whatever Naruto was going to ask. The blond's voice had also carried a suspicious tone as well.

Ignoring the feeling once more, Hayate responded, "*cough* I suppose*hack* you can."

His coughing had masked the sound of Naruto slowly and quietly working his way up behind the Jounin with a serated kunai in his hands. Once the teen was sure that the coughing had stopped and that Hayate was unaware of his position, he placed his left arm around the man's neck in a kind of choke-hold as he positioned the kunai on the aforementioned spot. "Why so serious?"

Naruto then plunged the kunai deep into Hayate with as much force as he could use without shoving his entire hand in on accident. Both could feel the ridged edge of the kunai sawing through the ribs that were in the way. The man's struggles and coughing grew weaker and weaker as Naruto was both choking and stabbing him. Finally, his struggling stopped completely as one final thought crossed his mind before black closed in on him forever.

'Yu...ga...o'

So ended the life of Gekko Hayate.

Naruto let the body slowly slide down out of his grasp, pulling the kunai out as it fell. He began crying hysterically while also laughing insanely, looking down the street both ways. He skipped in a circle around the body while making ape noises and occasionally kicking the body. "He..hehehe...oooh...ooh-ooh-hehe-ah-eeh-ooh...HEH!" the blond muttered the entire time.

Deciding that wasn't satisfying enough, Naruto crouched down over the body and held his hands together and brought them down as hard as possible onto Hayate's skull. Over and over he did this, eventually just smashing one fist at a time into the bloody mess that used to be the man's head. The crazed blond gradually worked his way down onto Hayate's torso and began beating that as well, tears and saliva flying from the expression of pure insane glee on his face. Blood splashed over his entire form as he managed to shove his hands through the man's ribcage and into his chest cavity and tore it open with brute force.

Seeing the man's insides brought Naruto an unexplainable glee. Lost in this morbid ecstasy he continued mutilating and thrashing the corpse that was slowly growing colder and colder beneath him, uncaring of the rain pounding down on him throughout the entire ordeal.

Eventually growing tired of what he was doing, Naruto stood up and wiped his bloody hands on his even bloodier torso. He walked away from the mess he had made and through the streets with no clear destination in mind, not even bothering to control his turbulent chakra. Almost half the seals that he had placed on himself over the years to help limit and control his chakra were undone. Since he had the a high amount of chakra by himself and Kyuubi's demonic youki(think that's how it's spelled) when they were mixed together it made the chakra very unstable and potent enough to affect things in the environment such as the weather, gravity, light, etc. This proved to be a slight problem since the seal that the yondaime placed on Naruto transferred a large amount of the fox's youki into the blond on a daily basis.

If it had been any other day then he would be freaking out right now, since he had hardly ever let his chakra run this wild. On any other day he would have immediately set to work on resealing his chakra suppression and focusing seals.

'On any other day...Ayame-chan would still be alive' Naruto thought randomly.

Realizing what he had just said in his mind, Naruto stopped walking for a moment, letting his train of thought continue. 'She's dead. Who killed her?' he questioned himself. 'It was us who killed her. My being in her life led her to be a target. We wasn't even strong enough to protect her' Naruto answered himself.

'No... It was the Fucker that threw the kunai that killed her' the part of him still in control argued.

'No, it was her own fault for not realizing that we was dangerous to be around. It was her own damn faults for getting close to us!' a dark part of his mind screamed.

'It was Teuchi's fault for not forbidding us to see his daughter. It's his fault Ayame-chan's dead! Should have forbidden her to talks to us when he sees us but noooo. No matter, he is dead now too through and through like the kunai through his head. No witness but a crazy boy heh...heheh..' panicked the less controlled part of his mind.

'No, it was the villagers' fault! They should have accepted us! They shouldn't have targeted us! Should have believed in the Hokage. Too bad their puny minds couldn't accept this, and they instead chose to persecute us. Our blood gave them closure. AYAME'S blood gave them closure! THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TARGETED AYAME!' the dark half screamed again 'If that's what they wants then THEIR blood shall bring us happiness. THEIR tears shall bring me laughter. THEIR PAIN SHALL BRING US P:EASURE!'

'Wait... there was another presence near-by when it happened' thought the only part still slightly in control (These are the clones that are in Naruto's mind. The five that I told you were in his mind constantly basically have come to symbolize different parts of Naruto's persona. So far the one that symbolize his inner darkness, his insecurities and issues, his control, and the other two parts that haven't spoken yet are the ones that symbolize naruto's humanity, and his sanity. Right now naruto is so mentally stressed that he can't keep the clones' awareness and his own apart. So it's like he has multiple personalities speaking at once. If you still don't understand then watch Evangelion. Hoped I could clear that up).

'Now that you mention it...' the panicked part began.

'There was another signature' finished the dark half.

'Then there's only one thing to do I guess' the part still in control stated.

'He killed Ayame and so we must kill him.' thought the original Naruto.

'He killed Ayame so we must kill him'

'He killed Ayame so we must kill him. He killed Ayame so we must kill him. .Hekilled..'

'He killed...'

'He killed...'

'He killed...'

"AYAME!" screamed Naruto outloud. His voice carried throughout the entire village through the storm. Villagers immediately began to find places to hide from the insanity in that voice that they all knew so well.

'He killed Ayame so we must Kill him. We must kill ' chanted Naruto in his mind, the insanity he kept secure slowly creeping its way to the surface.

X Mindscape X

Meanwhile, Kyuubi sat inside Naruto's mind while listening to the blond. He had only seen Naruto like this once and it hadn't been NEARLY as bad is it was right now.

Naruto had found a wounded fox kit lying in an alley one day and took it in. He had always had a soft spot for animals since they were the only things in this village that didn't completely hate him. (I know it's over used but I wasn't creative enough to think of anything better)

Over the next few weeks, Naruto nursed the small kit back to health and used some of Kyuubi's knowledge to communicate with it like the Inuzuka do with their dogs. As soon as it was healed though, he had taken it out to the forest and set it free, telling it to be careful not to get caught next time.

The next day, he had been exploring the woods for a new hiding place when he had heard the same fox kit's yip. He had been with it long enough that he immediately recognized it so he turned around, happy to see it again. Only to be met with the sight of a bunch of villagers kicking it around. One of them managed to get a kunai into the small creature and after they kicked it a few more times they turned to leave.

As they left, naruto had run up to the small kit and held it for a couple seconds before it died of its wounds. Something had snapped in Naruto then, and he had become unresponsive to anything Kyuubi said or did. By the time Kyuubi managed to get through to Naruto, he had already followed the men home and killed them and their families in horrific ways. The men had been disemboweld with razor blades, their wives had their wrists slit and they were hung with razor wire, other relatives or people staying with them had been beaten to death and thrown into a heap in the fireplaces or the bathrooms. The only ones that had been spared were the children since Naruto had regained some control by then.

It still shocked Kyuubi how close Naruto had been to completely losing it. This time did not bode well for the blond's already shaky sanity. Sighing, Kyuubi turned to the game of galaga he had been playing as he prepared to wait out the storm that was Naruto.

X Exit Mindscape X

Naruto had bent over and begun channel more of his chakra into the storm that its instability had created. He grasped the sides of his head as his eyes widened to the maximum, the pupils no larger than pins.

"KILL HIM!" he screamed, the insanity apparent in his voice. Letting go of his head, he turned back to where he had come from, looking towards the wall. Using his wind chakra to help him sprint faster he sprinted back to the village entrance where this hell had begun, screaming laughter tearing its way out of his throat and tears the whole way.

X Hokage's Tower X

An old man sat hunched over a crystal ball, with a deep frown etched onto his ancient face. The picture in the crystal ball seemed to be following a familiar blonde on his way to the entrance.

The Sandaime's frown deepened, if that was possible, as he pulled out his pipe and lit it. Taking a puff or two, Sarutobi pulled the Hokage's hat down over his eyes. The room was so silent that the hidden anbu were able to hear the old man's hidden tears hit the ground, not that they would admit to it.

"Oh Naruto-kun...What have you become?"

* * *

**And that's a wrap for this chapter. It was a bitch to focus on and get out but I eventually finished it...kinda. I was actually planning on making this a bit longer and including Naruto's maybe confrontation with Danzo and what might have happened there, but I decided that I'd put it in the next chapter so I could focus on that a little more exclusively.**

**That is, if I decide to have Naruto confront Danzo at all ^_^ *insert evil laughter***

**Sorry for the longer wait than usual on this chapter, again.**

**I think that about wraps it up, so if I'm forgetting something then just message me about it or something.**

**READ AND REVIEW!**

**Till next time guys**


	9. GUESS WHO'S BACK BACK BACK

**Alright, well first things first. I'm not dead. Despite the 4 year hiatus. I don't have any excuse other than that the story just got away from me and I then lost interest. That changes now though. I can't give an exact estimate of when, but I WILL be re-doing this story. SOON.**

**There are things I like about it, things I could have done better, and things that I hate. Such as the beginning. The first chapter I wrote was so cliché and over-used, I have no idea what I was thinking. Seriously, if I start to head down that path again someone should message me and say "NO! BAD AUTHOR!".**

**But anyway, yeah. Once I get the new and (hopefully) improved first chapter finished, I'll post it. I'm considering taking down all the old stuff but I figured I'd ask you guys if you wanted me to leave this story up and post the redux version somewhere else or if anyone even cared if I take this old thing down. Lemme know! Through a PM, a review, a strongly worded letter, a telegram. Whatever.**

**Till next time**


	10. This is the endMy only friend THE END

Alright, I've decided to keep this story up. The new story will be called Something's Not Right Here. You can look it up through my profile or use the search bar, whichever works for you.

CANCELED Why So Serious CANCELED

We're sorry for any inconvenience caused by the canceling of this fic.

If swelling or drowsiness occurs lasting longer then 4 hours

be sure and contact your doctor for immediate medical attention and

your accountant for any subsequent debt increase due to stupidly expensive hospital bill.


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